The Stuff Of Nightmares
by Blue Bongo
Summary: When a shiny maliciously violent Gengar awakes hundreds of years into the future, he is met by a friendly Shaymin. Together, the two of them join a highly crazy cast of idiot Pokemon at Rescue Express. NOW GRANTED A NEW LEASE OF LIFE IT PROBABLY DIDN'T DESERVE!
1. A Gengar In The Forest

The Stuff Of Nightmares.

* * *

Chapter One. A Gengar In The Forest.

* * *

The Shiny Gengar stirred, as he felt the wind on his body. The grass was comfortable, but the wind was slightly cold and

"Not the wind." He muttered, as he stood up and rubbed his eyes.

Nightmare looked down, and saw something looking at him.

"Not you again." The Gas Pokemon muttered.

"What?" Shaymin asked. "I saw you sleeping in the forest and I was worried about you."

Nightmare glared at the Gratitude Pokemon.

"Where the hell was I supposed to sleep?" He asked. "In a tree?"

"No, I mean, you looked so peaceful and...."

Nightmare lay back down.

"Are you done yet?" He asked. "I'm trying to sleep."

"Oh come on!!!!!" Shaymin said, brightly. "It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the Pidgey are singing, the Combee are buzzing and....."

"I'm going to Poison Jab you if you don't leave me alone." Nightmare snapped.

Shaymin groaned.

"Someone's a grumpy Gengar." He said. "I'm a Shaymin by the way."

"No way. I'd never have guessed." Nightmare replied. "Now, leave me alone."

"My name is Leaf." Shaymin continued. "What's your name?"

Nightmare snored, trying to shut Leaf out.

"You can't sleep all day." Leaf sang. "That's just not the way, don't be such a....."

"Shut up!!!!" Nightmare bellowed, angrily. "I want to sleep."

He then opened his eyes.

"Hold on." Nightmare said. "Where am I? Where's my trainer?"

Leaf looked slightly confused.

"Humans have been extinct for thousands of years." He explained. "Only Pokemon remain."

Nightmare looked at Leaf.

"You mean... My trainer. My friends. His friends. I'm never going to see any of them ever again?"

Leaf shook his head.

Nightmare jumped up and down.

"Oh yes!!!!!" He shouted. "I'm never going to see any of those morons again!!!!! I'm free!!!!! Yahooo!!!!! In your face world!!!!!!"

Leaf looked at him.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "You seem optimistic."

"Really, you think?" Nightmare said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The two of them looked up, and saw a Butterfree flapping over to them.

"Great." Nightmare said. "Lunch."

"Please!!!" Butterfree exclaimed. "You have to...."

Nightmare jumped up, and grabbed the Butterfree in one hand. With the other, he stuffed her in his mouth and swallowed her whole.

"Tasty." He said, licking his lips.

Leaf looked at him, slightly bemused.

"She sounded like she needed help." The Shaymin remarked.

Nightmare snorted.

"So did I." He said. "Do you know how long it is since I last ate?"

"Well, there's plenty of big juicy berries on the trees." Leaf commented. "Big juicy orbs that you can get your mouth around. They just explode with juice when you bit down on them, giving you a burst of intense pleasure."

Nightmare glared at him.

"What the hell are you advertising? Berries or...."

Another Butterfree flapped through the trees.

"Berry!!!!!!!" He shouted. "Berry!!!!!"  
"Ahoy there!!!" Leaf called up. "What's wrong?"

"Screw you, Shaymin." The Butterfree called.

"Hey, that's my job!!!!" Nightmare bellowed. "I'm the only one who can say that to this Shaymin."

"Bite me, Gengar." Butterfree shouted.

"Hey, it's Nightmare, you winged Caterpie." Nightmare said. "Now, shut the hell up, I'm trying to sleep."

The Butterfree sighed.

"I'm so sorry." He said. "My beloved Berry has gone missing. And my beloved son, Chet the Caterpie has been kidnapped by Weavile."

Leaf looked at the Butterfree.

"Was Berry a Butterfree?" He asked.

Butterfree nodded.

"She was looking for help."

Leaf glared at Nightmare, who started to whistle.

"Look." Leaf said. "We'll go tell those bad old Weavile to give back your Caterpie."

"Oh thank you." Butterfree replied. "I'd go myself, but..."

"Yeah, good luck with that." Nightmare said, rolling onto his stomach. Butterfree flew away.

"Hey!!!!" Leaf exclaimed. "You're coming too."

"Yeah, tell me why that is." Nightmare asked.

"Because you ate his mate." Leaf replied. "And we have a duty to get back his son."

"Why?"

"Because you ate his mate!!!!"

"Explain to me why that means that we have to go and rescue his son?"

"Because he'll be alone otherwise." Leaf insisted.

"And getting his son back will alleviate that how?" Nightmare asked.

Leaf sighed.

"It just will, okay."

"That sounds pointless." Nightmare said. "So, we're going to go and march up to some Weavile and tell them to give Caterpie back?"

Leaf nodded.

"Yeah, I don't really care." Nightmare remarked, rolling onto his back.

"Please!!!!!"

"No."

"Please!!!!!!!!!"

"No."

"Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"No."

"Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yes."

"Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Leaf said. "Oh wait."

* * *

"So, this is the forest of Weavile?" Nightmare asked. "Interesting. That must be why I can smell Weavile shit."

"Yeah." Leaf remarked.

"Help!!!!" A shrill voice squeaked. "Help!!!!!"

Nightmare and Leaf looked at each other.

"Did you hear that?" Leaf asked.

Nightmare shook his head.

"Nah, I couldn't hear anything over that moron shouting for help." He said, as a Weavile jumped out of a tree.

"Halt!!!!" The Weavile snapped. "You would dare intrude upon our..."

Nightmare Poison Jabbed him and shoved him aside.

"See, you just have to be firm with these upstarts." Nightmare explained, as Lead followed him.

Seven Weavile jumped down from the trees, upon hearing their comrade's cries.

"Oh crap." Nightmare said.

"See, you just have to be firm with these upstarts." Leaf repeated. "That's what you called them right. Arrogant Weavile upstarts. They sit around scratching their asses all day. That's what you said right? That's why they have claws, it's for the best scratch available, they can reach right up into the..."  
Leaf looked up and saw Nightmare being chased away by the Sharp Claw Pokemon.

"Yeah, I am awesome." Leaf said to himself, as he continued.

* * *

"Yes, soon I will kill you, you little Caterpie." The Weavile leader hissed.

"Not so fast!!!!" Leaf exclaimed, wandering into the area.

The Weavile spun around.

"You really don't want to be here." He hissed.

Leaf smiled.

"Yeah, I want to free that Caterpie." Leaf replied. "Now, let him go."

"Or what...?"

"Ah." Leaf said, hesitating. "Or, I'll... hurt you."

The Weavile glared at him.

"Go on then." The Weavile said. "Do your worst."

Leaf closed his eyes, and charged up an Energy Ball.

"Ooh, I'm scared." Weavile scoffed.

Seconds later, Nightmare came charging through the undergrowth and smashed into the Weavile. The Sharp Claw Pokemon instantly collapsed, before being crushed by the seven other Weavile that were chasing after the Gengar.

"Yeah." Leaf exclaimed. "I told you!!!"

The Weavile that were chasing Nightmare looked around.

"Our leader!!!" One of them said.

"He's been run over by something."

"Let us go and find out what."

"Yeah, then we can get the claws on it!!!!"

"The Claws!!!!!!" All of them cheered, charging off into the forest.

Leaf looked at Chet the Caterpie.

"Are you okay?" Leaf asked, concerned.

Chet stood up.

"Yeah, I think so." He replied. "Thank you strange Shaymin. I am sure that my Dad will be able to reward you beyond your wildest dreams."

Seconds later, Nightmare came crashing out of the forest and stamped on Chet, accidentally, instantly crushing him.

"Right, where are they?" Nightmare asked, slightly out of breath.

Leaf looked at him, before shaking his head.

"Wow, you really want to make that Butterfree's life miserable, don't you." He remarked.

Nightmare looked up, as he finished absent mindedly scraping the remains of Chet from his foot.

"I'm sorry, what?" He asked. "I was scraping something off my foot."

Leaf sighed.

"Let's just get out of here before we get lynched."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Yeah. Nightmare's very own story. And even in the future, he can't get rid of a too friendly Shaymin.**

**Reviews would be welcome.**

**Although, why the Weavile were kidnapping Caterpie is open to debate.**

**And it is slightly like Mystery Dungeon. But not quite. It's not a human turned into a Pokemon. But, it is likely to be an amusing romp across this mysterious land. And why is Nightmare in the future?**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!!**


	2. Hail To The Chief

Chapter Two. Hail To The Chief.

* * *

"So, where are we headed?" Nightmare asked, as they left the forest of the Weavile.

Leaf smiled.

"I think we should head to New Holimar City." He replied, looking at the trees. "It's the main area where Pokemon congregate. Maybe we can form a rescue team and...."

"Woah woah woah." Nightmare said. "What was that?"

"Form a rescue team." Leaf explained. "We go around looking for people in trouble, and help them."

Nightmare snorted.  
"Does it pay well?" He asked.

"Depends how generous the client is." Leaf replied. "I've been looking for a partner. Someone to stand by me in times of despair. Someone to watch my back. Someone to look out for me and drag me back from the edge. Someone to..."

He turned around and saw that Nightmare had vanished.

"Oh." Leaf remarked.

* * *

Leaf eventually found Nightmare sat against a tree, drinking a bottle of Black Persian Beer.

"How come you vanished?"

"I wanted to get away from you." Nightmare replied, as he hurled the empty bottle into the trees.

"You can't litter!!!" Lead exclaimed, in shock. "It's against the law."

Nightmare snorted.

"Yeah, I really took notice of the laws in my own time." He said. "I really think I'm going to do it in the future."

Leaf sighed.

"Just don't do it when we get to New Holimar City." He replied. "The security Machokes will throw you in jail."

"Security Machokes?" Nightmare asked. "Like I'm afraid of a muscle headed Machoke."

Leaf sighed again.

"You don't understand." The Shaymin insisted. "If you cause a scene while in the Cities, then the Machoke will throw you in jail. Or, at least chase you for a bit."

Nightmare snorted.

"What are you talking about?"

"When the humans died out." Leaf explained. "They left a whole bunch of stuff behind. Pokemon now have full control of the world, and have adapted to this world alone."

"I see." Nightmare replied. "Do they still make Black Persian Beer?"

"Of course." Leaf said. "But, they are careful who they sell it to. No shifty looking characters."

"Do I count?" Nightmare asked.

"I would say so." Leaf replied.

"Ah, I'll have to beat somebody up then." Nightmare said.

"Don't you get it?!!!" Leaf demanded. "You do that and the security Machokes will get you."

"So, how far is it to New Holimar City?" Nightmare asked, changing the subject.

"Well, we have to travel through the Ice Pokemon Kingdom." Leaf replied. "It gets pretty cold there, so..."

"Yeah, I make the room colder when I go through." Nightmare said. "Don't bet on it."

* * *

"Christ, this is cold!!!!!" Nightmare yelled, as they wandered through the barren frozen wastelands.

"I told you so." Leaf replied.

"Okay, no need to rub it in!!!!!" Nightmare said, tapping Leaf on the head. "So, is there any shelter around here?"

"You could build an igloo." Leaf remarked.

"What do I look like, a frickin' Weavile."  
There was a wail up ahead.

"What was that?" Leaf asked.

Nightmare shrugged.

"About fifty octaves higher than it should be."

Leaf glared at him.

"Someone's in pain!!!"

"Yeah, me." Nightmare replied. "I've got to put up with you."  
Leaf groaned.

"I'm not that bad." He said, scampering away in the direction of the voice.

* * *

Leaf arrived upon the fallen body of a Smoochum.

"Jeez." Nightmare remarked, as he tried to stop the hail from hitting him. "Who killed the broad?"

"I'm not dead." The Smoochum replied, sitting up. "Just winded."

"Nah, I think she's dead." Nightmare insisted. "I'm a ghost, I can tell these things."

"I'm not dead." The Smoochum insisted.

"Nah, I think she's dead." Nightmare insisted. "What proof do you have that she's not dead?"

"She's flipping you off." Leaf said, dryly.

"Damn corpse, flipping me off." Nightmare said, angrily, as he grabbed the Smoochum by the throat. "I'll show you!!!!"

He started to throttle the Smoochum, who gagged.

"Unhand me at once, you bounder!!!!!!" She exclaimed. "I am Princess Smooch of the Ice Kingdom."

"Yeah, of course you are." Nightmare said, rolling his eyes. "And I'm Nightmare, lord of the darkness, emperor of shadows and king of destruction. I'm a lovable character who the whole family can play with, and I am always awesome."

"I don't care, just let go of me!!!!!" Princess Smooch shrieked.

Nightmare sighed, before throwing her backwards into a tree. She yelled in pain.

"You clumsy fool!!!!!"

Nightmare laughed.

"Oh that's so cutting." He said, in mock hurt. "Your royal voice cuts me with agony."

Leaf looked up at Nightmare.

"Wow, sarcasm is an art form with you." He remarked.

Nightmare nodded, before realising that Leaf was being sarcastic.

"Little bastard."

Leaf looked at Princess Smooch.

"What troubles you?" He asked. "Maybe we can help?"

Princess Smooch glared at him.

"How can a Shaymin and a Gengar help me?" She asked, bitterly.

"We're about to form a rescue team!!!!" Leaf replied.

She groaned.

"Fine then, I was deposed by General Boma up at the palace, and thrown out into the snow to die." Princess Smooch replied. "If you can go up, get rid of him and get my kingdom back, then I will let you pass through."

"We'll just walk through anyway." Nightmare said. "Like some wrinkly old solider is going to stop me."

* * *

"HALT!!!!!"

"Oh crap, an Abomasnow." Nightmare muttered.

Leaf looked up at the hulking figure.

"Nobody passes through the village to New Holimar City without the permission of King Boma."

"I thought it was General Boma." Nightmare remarked.

The Abomasnow glared at him.

"Quiet, ghost!!!!!" He roared, striking Nightmare with a Needle Arm attack.

Leaf instantly put his paws up, as best as he could.

"I surrender!!!!!"

Nightmare leaped up and smashed a Poison Jab attack into the Abomasnow, causing him to roar in pain.

"Don't touch what you can't afford, bitch." Nightmare yelled, as the Pokemon doubled over in agony.

The Shiny Gengar then exhaled, before leaping around and unleashing his trademark move.

"Shadow Kick!!!!" Nightmare exclaimed, knocking the Abomasnow out cold.

He then placed his foot on the face of the creature and struck a pose.

"I rock, I rule!!!!!" Nightmare said, bowing.

Leaf groaned.

"Do you know who that was?" He asked.

"Do I care?"

"That was Captain Frost of the Ice Kingdom Royal Guard." A Glaceon remarked, who came to sit next to them. "He's not a nice Abomasnow."

Nightmare snorted.

"Yeah, I think he pissed himself when I Poison Jabbed him."

"You should probably get out of here." The Glaceon warned. "If King Boma finds out that you beat up one of his friends, he's not going to be very happy."

Nightmare yawned.

"Yeah, I'm really scared." The Gengar said.

"We just want to get through here as soon as possible." Leaf explained. "Where's the exit to New Holimar?"

The Glaceon shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She said. "Only King Boma can order the opening of the gates."

Nightmare and Leaf looked at each other.

"Do we always have to do this the hard way?" Nightmare asked.

Leaf groaned.

"Let's go and see the King." He said. "You never know, he might not be annoyed with me."

"Aha." Nightmare replied.

"But, you're toast."

Nightmare suddenly had a thought.

"What about that flaky broad we met in the snow?" He asked.

Leaf looked up.

"What do you have in mind?"

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Oh dear. Problems for Leaf and Nightmare.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews!!!! They are all appreciated.**

**This isn't likely to be updated every day. It might only be every few days.**

**But, thanks for reading anyway, and don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!!**


	3. Overthrow

Chapter Three. Overthrow.

* * *

"I knew you'd be back." Princess Smooch said, smugly, as Nightmare and Leaf wandered into her cave.

"What are you, psychic?" Nightmare asked, sarcastically.

"Partly." Princess Smooch replied, dryly. "I'm also part ice, which is why I'm not cold, and you look frozen."

"So, don't ice Pokemon get cold?" Leaf asked.

She shook her head.

"Do fire Pokemon get hot?" Princess Smooch countered. "Anyway, regale me with your tales of what happened when you tried to leave the village."

"We were attacked by an Abomasnow. I think his name was Captain Frost or something." Leaf said.

"Yeah, I beat the crap out of him." Nightmare commented, proudly. "He touched me, so I left him on the ground, crying."

Princess Smooch glared at him.

"You blithering idiot!!!!" She shouted. "When General Boma hears that you assaulted his friend, he is going to try and kill you."

Nightmare snorted.

"Yeah, tougher Pokemon than him have tried." He replied. "I once got into a drunken fight with Mew. And kicked its ass."

Princess Smooch looked mildly offended.

"You beat up a deity?" She asked. "I doubt it."

Nightmare glared at her.

"Fine then, don't believe me." He replied. "That doesn't discount the fact that it happened."

She sighed.

"So, why did you come back here?"

"Errr... We were wanting a way through the village." Leaf replied, eagerly. "Can you help?"

She shook her head.

"Well, the only way through is by royal permission." Princess Smooch explained. "So, you need to either reason with General Boma, or you need to overthrow him."

Nightmare sighed.

"Which is the more profitable option?" He asked. "If they are both equally profitable, which is the one that requires the less work?"

Princess Smooch groaned.

"Just get over to the palace." She said, ushering them out of the door.

"Okay, just let go of me!!!"

* * *

"So, this is the Ice Kingdom Palace." Leaf said, craning his neck upwards. "Errr.... I can't see the roof."

"Why do you want to see the roof?" Nightmare asked, as they saw a pair of Abomasnow, wearing red scarves lined up against the door.

"Because then I don't have to look at those pissed off Abomasnow." Leaf replied.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you." Nightmare said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, y'know, provided I'm not too busy protecting myself."

Leaf groaned.

"Let's just hope that Abomasnow you beat up isn't around." He said, as they strode to the door of the palace.

"This is nice." Nightmare muttered, as they walked up. "What do you reckon? It's made of ice?"

"Oh.. Yeah." Leaf said, brightly.

"I think there's a stack of treasure in there." Nightmare continued. "It'd be a beacon towards Pokemon who like to steal things."

As they approached the door, a pair of Abomasnow blocked the door.

"No admittance." They said, gruffly. "Captain Frost was beaten up last night, and while his assailant is on the loose, nobody enters the castle. Especially not a spook and a wimp."

Nightmare looked up with anger on his face.

"Excuse me." He said. "Did you just call me a wimp?"

"Uhh... No, we were calling the Shaymin a wimp." One of the Abomasnow said.

"Right." Nightmare replied. "Because, did you know that this Shaymin was going to turn into Sky Forme, fly up through an open window and rob the place."

"What?!!!!!" Leaf exclaimed, looking up.

"Work with me." Nightmare said, out of the corner of his mouth.

"I mean... What?" Leaf asked, as one of the Abomasnow guards picked him up by the scruff of the neck.

"You have done well, strangely coloured Gengar." Another Abomasnow guard said. "We'll take him away and torture him for a bit."

"Ah, okay." Nightmare replied, as Leaf was carried away. "Now, can I get inside?"

"No."

"Ah." Nightmare said, before pointing in the opposite direction. "Look over there."

The remaining Abomasnow guard did so....

Allowing Nightmare to withdraw his baseball bat and smash him across the back of the head.

"Home run!!!!!" Nightmare said, walking through the door, without bothering to open it.

* * *

"No, wait!!!!" Leaf exclaimed. "I'm not a thief!!!!!!"

"Shut up, thief." An annoyed looking Sneasel said. "Otherwise, I'll feed you to Mamoswine."

"Mamoswine hungry." The large mammoth like Pokemon said, as it sat next to the Sneasel.

"Shut up, Mamoswine." Sneasel exclaimed, annoyed.

"Mamoswine sorry." The Mamoswine replied, sadly.

"You will be." Sneasel said, as he started to play with a whip. "Does this look soft enough to you?"

"Mamoswine not sure."

"Damnit!!!!!!" Sneasel exclaimed, swatting the whip into the back of Mamoswine.

Mamoswine howled in pain.

"Mamoswine hurt."

"Wow, you really are a sadist." Leaf remarked. "I can see why General Boma hired you. Even though I've never met him or know nothing about him other than the fact that he is probably a jackass."

Sneasel winked.

"Why thank you." He said. "That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"Really?" Leaf asked.

"Of course it isn't, you moron." Sneasel snapped, cracking the whip. "I should give you my whip to taste."

There was a laugh from somewhere in the small prison.

"Some Pokemon like their whips way too much."

Sneasel spun around, looking for the voice.

"Where are you, you voiceless piece of...."

The voice laughed.

"If you show me your whip, I'll show you..."

A whip came cracking out of the shadows and wrapped around Sneasel's wrist. Sneasel cried out in pain, as his wrist was yanked up, causing him to drop the weapon.

Then, Nightmare came swinging down and smashed a Poison Jab into the side of the Sharp Claw Pokemon.

"I, Sneas, was defeated by a simple Poison Jab?" The Sneasel asked, sadly, as he crashed to the ground.

Nightmare looked at the Mamoswine.

"I don't want to hurt.... Okay, I do want to hurt you, but I don't have the... Actually, I do have the time, but I can't be bothe..... Actually, I can be bothered, but...."

"Make up your frickin' mind!!!!" Leaf bellowed.

"Okay." Nightmare snapped. "Get out of here in the next five seconds, or I turn up the heat."

"Mamoswine says okay." Mamoswine said, scampering away, accidentally knocking a wall down.

Leaf glared at Nightmare.

"You took your sweet time." He said.

Nightmare coughed.

"Yeah, I needed to come up with a way to get in." The shiny Gengar replied. "Ah, scratch that, I needed a way to get you in. I just beat the guard up and walked through the door. Literally, through the door."

"So, let's go find this jerk, King Boma, or General Boma, or whatever his bloody name is." Leaf said.

* * *

The two of them made their way towards the throne room.

"What if he's not in the throne room?" Leaf asked.

"Then, we wait in the throne room until he shows up." Nightmare said.

They finally arrived at the door, seeing that it was open slightly.

"Ooh, I hear voices." Leaf said, craning his ear against the crack.

Nightmare stuck his head closer, and heard the voices.

"Who is that?" He asked, seeing a Slaking, wearing a crimson coloured uniform.

Leaf went very quiet.

"That's Commander Slak Borillo." He said, in awe. "He's the greatest hero living in this region. He is the leader of the Security Forces that keep the world safe."

"He looks like a big ugly Slaking." Nightmare commented, straining his ears.

They watched a Ralts stood next to Slak, who was wearing the exact same crimson coloured uniform.

"That's Rif, his attendant." Leaf explained.

Nightmare ignored him, listening in on the conversation, as they spoke to a larger than normal Abomasnow, wearing a crown.

"So, General Boma." Slak said. "Basically, your overthrow of this kingdom is disliked by everyone in New Holimar City. Give it back to the Princess, or we will be forced to take action."

Rif jumped up and whispered something in Slak's ear.

"Although, if you really like control of it." Slak grinned. "We can maybe make an arrangement."

"I bargain with no heat dwellers!!!!!!" Boma roared. "Leave this place, or I shall throw you in the dungeon."

"You leave this place, or I shall have you thrown in my dungeon." Slak snapped.

Rif jumped up and whispered something in his ear.

"What do you mean, I don't have a dungeon?" Slak asked, shocked. "When we get out of here, get on it."  
"You mean, you want a dungeon?" Rif replied, in an exasperated voice.

"Yes." Slak said. "Or, as I like to call it, the gym."  
King Boma didn't look impressed.

"You two are pathetic." He said, angrily. "Guards, throw them in the dungeon."  
"That's it!!!!!" Nightmare shouted, kicking the door in. "I'm sick of your catchphrase, so I'm here to overthrow you and give control back to the Princess so I can get through to New Holimar City and get a Black Persian Beer."

"My Arceus." Slak exclaimed. "That Gengar makes the most sense I've ever heard in my life."

"But, he's also extremely stupid." King Boma snapped, dragging his huge bulk from the throne.

"Wow, I think that has cracks in it." Nightmare remarked, looking at Leaf. "Does this guy have a huge ass or what?"

"All Abomasnow have a huge ass." Slak remarked. "Especially one as ugly as this guy."

King Boma growled, before charging at Nightmare.....

Who stepped aside easily.

"Ole!!!!" Nightmare said, leaping on the back of the Frosted Tree Pokemon. "I used to hang around with an Abomasnow, and believe me, you aren't that special."

King Boma roared, as he tried to throw Nightmare off. The Gas Pokemon wasn't having it at all.

"Yeah, keep trying." Nightmare laughed. "Go on, bronco."

As Boma tried harder and harder to throw Nightmare off, Leaf crawled over to Slak.

"Excuse me, oh great hero." Leaf said. "Can I get your autograph."

Slak sighed, as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a baby Smeargle.

"Who shall I make it out to?" He asked.

"Leaf." Leaf replied, as Nightmare hit King Boma with his baseball bat.

"Rif, give him an autograph." Slak said, as he ate the baby Smeargle.

Rif groaned, before giving a folded up bit of paper to Leaf.

"That's twelve ninety." He said.

Leaf groaned.

"Yeah, I don't actually have any money." The Shaymin replied.

"Then, you don't get an autograph." Slak snapped.

"But, you're my hero." Leaf said, sadly. "I think you're awesome."

Slak's expression softened.

"You really think so?" He asked.

Leaf nodded.

"Well, that's real nice son." Slak said. "However, the answer is still no."

As he finished speaking, Nightmare rammed King Boma's head into the wall and knocked him out cold.

"Yeah, I'm done here." Nightmare called.

* * *

"Thank you." Princess Smooch said, as she looked at Nightmare and Leaf. "You have freed a noble kingdom from a cruel tyrant."

Nightmare nodded.

"Yeah, that's right." He replied.

"As reward, I give you the chance to leave this village, and go to New Holimar." Princess Smooch continued.

Nightmare jumped up.

"Your majesty." He said. "Your palace is so magnificent. Could I possibly walk through it alone, before I leave?"

Princess Smooch smiled.

"Of course." She replied.

* * *

Later, she watched Nightmare and Leaf go through the gate towards New Holimar City.

"Two more noble and honest souls we have never know." She said, proudly.

She was about to leave, when a Snover came sprinting over, panting for breath.

"Your highness!!!!" The Snover said, exhausted. "I regret to inform you that the palace has been robbed of several valuable items."

She looked shocked.

"But, who could have done that?" Princess Smooch asked.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Who indeed.**

**Next chapter, Nightmare and Leaf arrive in the City and try to join a rescue team. What disasters will ensue.**

**And two possible recurring characters appear in Slak and Rif.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews!!!! They are all welcomed.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!!! Please!!!!!**


	4. The World Of Tommorow

Chapter Four. The World Of Tomorrow.

* * *

Another day dawned, as Nightmare and Leaf walked towards New Holimar City. Nightmare was wearing a golden crown that he had acquired from somewhere.

"I can't believe you robbed the palace." Leaf said, sounding slightly shocked. "I mean, that was so..."

"Hey, I never told her to let me go wandering through the castle alone." Nightmare replied. "She could have refused it. But, she didn't. So, I robbed the place blind."

"Just don't do it in...." Leaf started to say, as they saw the outline of a City up ahead. "Alright, we're almost there!!!!"

"Great." Nightmare said.

* * *

"And this is New Holimar City." Leaf said, proudly.

Nightmare snorted.

"It looks exactly like Old Holimar City." He replied. "Look, there's the crater where the Reims building was blown up."

He looked around, and saw that several Pokemon were going about their business. Some riding Hippowdon that had the word 'Taxi' written on the side, while some rode on flying Pokemon through the sky.

"So, it's easy to get around." The Gas Pokemon commented. "What are we going to do now?"

Leaf sighed.

"Well, it's very difficult to start your own rescue team." He explained. "You need a licence. So, I propose that we join one."

"What exactly is a rescue team?" Nightmare asked.

"It's a team that goes around doing the dirty work in life." Leaf explained. "Rescue Pokemon from danger, deliver items, generally stuff like that."

"That sounds incredibly....." Nightmare started to say, before Leaf hailed a Pidgeotto

"Taxi!!!!" The Shaymin called.

The Bird Pokemon landed next to them.

"Where can I take you folks?" She asked.

"We're looking to join a rescue team." Leaf replied. "Can you take us around the team bases."

"Sure." The Pidgeotto said, brightly. "I'm Peggy, your method of transport today, and I'll first take you to Team Awesome."

* * *

"So." The Lucario behind the desk asked. "What makes you think that you can join Team Awesome?"

"We're very honest." Leaf replied. "And hard working."

"I like to pick fights with random Pokemon." Nightmare said. "And I figured this was the best way to do it."

"Aha." The Lucario remarked. "Well, I tell you what. I've got a crate of Torchics downstairs that need delivering across town. Can you do that?"

"Of course." Leaf replied.

* * *

Half an hour later....

* * *

"Where's that crate of Torchics?" Leaf asked.

Nightmare grinned.

"Sold them on the black market." He replied, waving a wad of cash around. "Got thirty dollars a head."

"But, we were meant to deliver them to the slaughterhouse!!!!!!" Leaf protested.

"What do you think the guy on the black market is going to do?" Nightmare snorted. "Put them out on the streets, as hookers?"

A Torchic walked by and looked at Leaf.

"You looking for a good time?" She asked.

"Err.... No." Leaf replied, slightly nervously.

"Fine then, get lost." The Torchic replied, before looking at Nightmare. "What about you, handsome?"

"Sorry, love." Nightmare said. "Nothing with feathers."

She scowled, before walking off.

"That was weird." Leaf remarked. "So, are we going to tell Luka that we sold his stock?"

"Nah, you can." Nightmare laughed.

Leaf groaned.

"I'm just amazed that you've been in the future for less than five days and you've already managed to find the black market."

* * *

"So, what makes you think that you possess the qualifications or the skills needed to join Team Burners?" The Typhlosion asked.

"Err..." Leaf replied, not noticing that Nightmare was shooting dirty looks at the Volcano Pokemon.

"We're very hard workers and we were just fired from Team Awesome." The Gratitude Pokemon continued.

"Why were you fired from Team Awesome?" Terry the Typhlosion asked.

"It was a political dispute." Nightmare replied. "I was kicked out for my beliefs."

He resumed glaring at the Typhlosion, and making obscene hand gestures whenever he looked the other way.

"Anyway, we're almost completely honest." Leaf finished.

Terry turned around, and saw Nightmare glaring at him.

"Excuse me, sir." He said. "But, why are you glaring at me?"

Nightmare swallowed.

"Are you a Typhlosion?" He asked.

Terry looked slightly confused, as he nodded.

"You bastard!!!!!!!!" Nightmare yelled, diving forward and punching Terry in the head with a barrage of Poison Jabs.

Terry yelped and tried to hide under his makeshift desk, as Nightmare gradually beat him senseless.

"What was that for?" Leaf asked, as Nightmare stood up.

"I just don't like Typhlosion." Nightmare said, dusting himself off.

"I think it's safe to say that we're not going to get the gig." Leaf said, following Nightmare out of the door.

* * *

"I can't believe we were kicked out of Team Black Persian." Leaf said, dragging Nightmare out of the building. "All because they asked you to transport a few caskets of beer across the City."

"I love you." Nightmare slurred. "You're my best friend."

He then burst out laughing, as he saw a traffic cone in the middle of the road.

"Hey, Leaf!!!!" He said, laughing. "It's a traffic cone."

"Yeah so?" Leaf asked, as Nightmare wandered over and put the item on his head.

"Do you like my hat?" Nightmare asked, striking a pose.

Leaf groaned.

"We're never going to get into a rescue team at this rate."

* * *

"And we've been kicked out of Team Sight." Leaf groaned. "You had to tell that Banette she had a nice body."

"Well, she did." Nightmare protested. "When did that become harrasment?"  
"It's always been harassment." Leaf groaned.

"Not where I come from."

"It started in the past." Leaf said. "You're from the past."

"So are a lot of things." Nightmare replied. "In fact, it was in the past when you said that."

"Said what?"

"That." Nightmare said, grinning.

"What?"

"That."

Leaf groaned, and started to walk back towards the waiting Pidgeotto.

"Well." Peggy said. "You've had me for a day, and it's time for your bill."

Nightmare sighed.

"Do you accept tips?" He asked.

Peggy nodded.

Nightmare sighed again, before picking her up and dropped her in a nearby trashcan.

"Tipped into the bin." He explained, hearing Peggy rattling around in there. "So, what now?"

* * *

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Leaf asked, as they walked into O'Riolu's Bar.

"Of course." Nightmare replied. "Maybe we can get lucky."

"How are we going to get lucky?" Leaf asked, as Nightmare ordered a Black Persian Beer.

"I don't know." Nightmare laughed, as he necked the contents. "I'll think of something when I'm hammered."

* * *

Four hours and a lot of Black Persian later....

* * *

"I've thought of something!!!!!!" Nightmare slurred. "We've been trying to join the best rescue teams."

"Have we?" Leaf asked.

"I don't know." Nightmare continued. "But, anyway. Maybe we need to join a less good one and work up."  
He stood up on the bar, and accidentally kicked a Dusclops' drink over her.

"Excuse me, Pokemon!!!!" He shouted. "What's the worse rescue team in this City?"

"You want Rescue Express!!!!!" Someone yelled. "They bite ass!!!!!!"

Nightmare jumped off the bar.

"I guess we know where to go now." He said, woozily, before looking at the barman. "Wha' can you tell me about Rescue Express?"

The Drowzee glared at him.

"They are run by a demented old Alakazam who will hire anyone no matter how unqualified or dangerous they may be."

"I see." Nightmare said, dancing around. "Could it really be true? A place where my years of unqualification will finally prove useful?"

He and Leaf were about to leave, when the Dusclops stood in front of him.

"Hey, moron!!!!" She said. "You spilled my drink!!!!!"

"Yeah." Nightmare replied. "Bite my ass."

He shoved past her, following Leaf out.

"Now, let's go find Team Rescue Express or whatever it's called." Leaf said, staggering down the street.

"Taxi!!!!!!" Nightmare shouted.

"Let's just hope that Pidgeotto hasn't got out of the bin yet." Leaf groaned. "If I pass out, don't let me swallow my tongue."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**At least no Pokemon were eaten in the making of this chapter.**

**Pidgeotto was thrown in a bin, and Nightmare sold some Torchic's on the black market, but that's about it.**

**Oh, and a Typhlosion was beaten up. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews!!!! They are all appreciated.**

**Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!**


	5. Welcome To Rescue Express

Chapter Five. Welcome To Rescue Express.

* * *

"This is Rescue Express." The Fearow explained, as he dropped Nightmare and Leaf off outside the strange looking building.

"Hey, we're by the waterfront." Nightmare remarked. "I don't remember there being water in Holimar City."

Leaf looked up.

"About fifty years ago, the ocean flooded." He said. "The whole east part of Verger is submerged."

"I see." Nightmare replied, as they walked to the door.

"Well, I wonder if we'll get kicked out of this one." Leaf said, as Nightmare knocked on the door.

A small slot opened up in the middle of the door.

"Who is it?" A thick jolly sounding voice asked, with suspicion.

"We're wanting to join Team Rescue Express." Leaf said. "We've heard that you're a jolly good bunch of...."

"Get the hell out of here." The voice continued.

"Apollo!!!!!!!" Another voice echoed through the halls. "Who is at the door?"  
This voice sounded older, and weary.

"Just some filthy hobos." Apollo called back. "I'm trying to get rid of them. They say they want work."

"Let them in!!!!!" The voice shouted. "We need more expendable labour."

"Damn straight." Leaf said, as Apollo opened the door.

They looked up to find a Ludicolo looking at them.

"So, you're Apollo." Nightmare remarked.

"Guilty as charged, ya crazy ghost." Apollo said. "Now, get up to the Professor and do what you need to do."

"Such a friendly Pokemon." Leaf remarked, sarcastically. "I thought Ludicolo were supposed to be friendly."

"Well, ya thought wrong, ya moron." Apollo continued.

* * *

"Welcome to Rescue Express." The Alakazam said, as he turned around to greet them.

The Psi Pokemon looked to be extremely old, as well as wearing a lab coat. Unlike most Alakazam, he only carried a spoon in one hand, which he occasionally tossed into the air. He also wore a pair of glasses.

"I'm Professor Alaworth." The Professor said. "Now, tell me why you want to work for Rescue Express."

"We've been kicked out of everywhere else." Leaf replied.

"Aha." Alaworth said. "Keep going."

"Then, we were in a bar last night, and someone told us that this place was okay." Nightmare continued. "So, after we slept in the gutter, we decided to come here. Sorry about the smell by the way."

Alaworth shrugged.

"Nah, that's the team doctor." He replied. "He's a filthy hobo as well."

Alaworth yawned, as he looked at the pair of them.

"Well, you seem highly unqualified, but ready to learn, so I'm going to put you under the tutelage of Duskla, the team leader. Learn from her well."

Alaworth dropped into an armchair, and fell asleep, starting to snore.

"Well, this was a waste of time." Nightmare said.

Apollo wandered into the room.

"The Professor told you to beat it, right?" The fussy Ludicolo asked.

"Nah, he told us to to go find this crazy broad, Duskla." Nightmare said.

"Ah, you want to go to the hanger then." Apollo replied.

"I see." Leaf remarked. "And what is this Duskla like?"

"She's a firebrand." Apollo laughed.

* * *

As Leaf and Nightmare wandered into the main hanger, they saw a Dusclops cleaning a Tropius.

"Oh right into the cracks." The Tropius said, happily. "Yeah, you know how to please me."

"That's just gross." Nightmare commented. "I've got some really distrubing images in my head now."

He then laughed.

"If they have the Internet in the future, I must really see if there are any specialist sites involving Dusclops and Tropius."

The Dusclops turned around, only for Nightmare to groan.

"Not you again." He said.

Duskla was the same Dusclops who he had nearly got into a fight with the previous night in O'Riolu's.

"And have you come to apologise?" She asked.

"No, we've come to work." Nightmare laughed. "Professor Alaworth gave us a job."

"What is he, desperate?" Duskla asked. "Actually, I don't need to know that."

Leaf laughed.

"So, is that a Tropius?" He asked.

Duskla nodded.

"His name is..."

"Tandy." The Tropius said, happily. "Don't stop washing me, I'm filthy."

Duskla groaned.

"Just because we took an early morning trip to the desert to deliver some Psyduck eggs to those Sandslash." She said. "There's no need to act like a pain in the ass."

"Well, you don't need to be so nasty." Tandy groaned.

"What can we do first?" Leaf asked.

Duskla smiled.

"First, you can go and see Dr. Krabbleberg."

She pointed at a small office above them.

"Fine, let's go meet the weirdo." Nightmare said.

"Actually, the Shaymin can go and talk to Apollo." Duskla called.

* * *

Nightmare walked into the office, to see a Krabby wearing a medical hat sat behind a desk eating a sandwich.

"Good evening." Dr. Krabbleberg said, in a thick voice. "Can I help you?"

"Well, I need to be medically checked out." Nightmare said. "Even though I'm a ghost, and have never been sick in my life."

Krabbleberg stepped off the desk, and reached for a stethoscope.

He held the instrument in one claw and placed it on Nightmare's chest.

"Dear Arceus." Krabbleberg exclaimed. "You haven't got a pulse."

"That's because I'm a ghost." Nightmare replied, lazily.

Krabbleberg scuttled over to the intercom.

"I need to get an operation on in here, stat."

"I'm not sick." Nightmare said, angrily.

"The patient is resisting." Krabbleberg continued.

Nightmare jumped forward, picked a chair up and whacked the crazy doctor with it.

Dr. Krabbleberg groaned, before fainting.

"I don't need your phoney advice." He said, angrily, before turning to walk outside.

Duskla was waiting outside.

"What did he say?"

Nightmare shrugged.

"He said I was too healthy for my own good." He replied. "Yeah, there's no danger whatsoever."

"You beat him over the head with a chair, didn't you?"

"Yeah." Nightmare said, reluctantly.

"Lots of patients do." Duskla replied. "However, you do have to sit it, dead or not."

"Aww, son of a bitch." Nightmare groaned.

* * *

Leaf wandered into Apollo's office.

"What do ya want, ya little moron?" Apollo asked, from behind a stack of papers.

"Duskla told me to...."

"Duskla don't know shit about how to run an office." Apollo complained. "I do all the work around here, pay the bills when the Machoke come round with their threatening letters. And what thanks does a Ludi get? Absolutely jack in the box."

"So, what do you...?"

"I tell you sometimes I think about killing the entire lot of you." Apollo continued.

He then looked at Leaf.

"Sorry, what are you here for?"

Leaf shrugged.

"I honestly don't know now." He replied. "You don't honestly dream about killing everyone here, do you?"

"Only from time to time." Apollo grinned. "You can do me a favour actually. The intern, Belia, borrowed something from me. I need you to go and get it back from her."

"Where can I find her?" Leaf asked.

Apollo shrugged.

"Look for her, ya little bastard."

He spun around, and unleashed a Razor Wind attack that blew Leaf out of his office.

"And don't come back, fool."

* * *

Nightmare groaned, as Dr. Krabbleberg stood next to him.

"Okay." Dr. Krabbleberg said, holding a beaker up. "I need a urine sample."

Nightmare sighed, before turning away and filling the beaker up with Black Persian Beer.

"That should confuse the test results." He snickered.

"And, I'll need to examine you further." Dr. Krabbleberg said. "Turn around, and bend over."

"Excuse me?"

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**And so, some of the many characters. A bossy Dusclops, a perpetually angry Ludicolo, a slightly senile Alakazam and a strange Krabby. Oh, and a Tropius who.... Never mind.**

**It's only just occured to me, but it's slightly like.... Never mind.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews!!!!! They are welcomed.**

**Probably not as funny as the last few chapters, but there's only so much you can do.**

**There will be the first mission in the next chapter.**

**Haven't got a clue what it'll be yet, only a vague idea.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!!**


	6. City Of The Trapinch

Chapter Six. City Of The Trapinch.

* * *

"Five bottles of Black Persian Beer." Dr. Krabbleberg said, removing the items and placing them on the table. "One whip."

He placed the weapon on the table, and went back into removing the items from Nightmare's body.

"One baseball bat, with the words Home Run enscribed on the wood."

Nightmare looked at his old favourite weapon.

"One wallet with the name Arjun stitched on the front." Dr. Krabbleberg remarked, searching the wallet to find it empty. He then threw it on the table, before exploring the contents of Nightmare's stomach further.

"A pair of water pistols."

He dropped them on the table.

"A magazine, issue 14 of PokeDude. Contains a full page spread of Giratina."

"Give me that." Nightmare said, snatching it from the pincers of Dr. Krabbleberg. "A female Giratina is one fine ghost."

He opened the magazine and let the spread fold out in front of Dr. Krabbleberg.

"Giratina, 1096, from the Distortion World." Nightmare said, proudly.

"What is this?" Krabbleberg asked. "Pornography?"

Nightmare almost burst out laughing.

"Of course, you moron." He said. "What did you think it was?"

"A nice picture of Giratina." Dr. Krabbleberg replied, hopefully.

His response was for Nightmare to bash him over the head with the baseball bat.

Then an alarm rang out through the building.

"Everyone report to the briefing room!!!!!!!!" The voice of Professor Alaworth said.

Nightmare quickly jammed all the stuff back in his stomach.

"Hey, I just spent half an hour getting that stuff out!!!!!!!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg yelled.

"Well, I told you not to." Nightmare replied, as he jogged out.

* * *

Leaf was wandering around the building, looking for Belia.

"Hello!!!!" He called. "Belia!!!!"

A door opened behind him, and a Buizel poked her head out.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Are you Belia?" Leaf replied.

She nodded.

"Apollo sent me over here." Leaf explained. "He said that you borrowed something from him. And he wants him back."

She smirked.

"Tell the miserable bastard to give me the money he owes me then."

Belia slammed the door shut, causing Leaf to sigh as he went back to Apollo's office.

* * *

Nightmare jogged into the briefing room, where Duskla, Alaworth and Tandy were waiting.

"Where's that irritating Shaymin?" Alaworth asked, looking around.

"Err... I don't care." Nightmare replied.

"Good news everyone." Alaworth said. "We've got a new job. We've been assigned to deliver this lovely statue to the City of the Trapinch out in the desert."

Tandy groaned, as he looked at the statue which was, nearly, the same size as him.

"Oh, I can't wait to get my legs around that big long thick statue." He said, eagerly.

Duskla glared at him.

The statue was about four feet tall, and had the jaws of a Trapinch on the end.

"What do they need that hunk of rock for anyway?" Nightmare asked. "It looks worthless."

"It is worthless." Alaworth explained. "But, they need it to evolve into Vibrava properly, so it apparently has some value."

"Well then." Duskla said. "Let's get it onto Tandy, and...."

"Yay!!!!" Tandy cheered.

"Then get going." Duskla finished.

"Right then." Nightmare said, heading into the other room. "Give me a shout when you're ready for me."

He dropped down on the couch in the other room, sitting on a Buizel who was already there.

"Hey!!!!" She protested.

* * *

"She called you a miserable bastard and said you owe her money." Leaf explained.

Apollo glared at him.

"Tell the bitch that..."

"That's just really not nice." Leaf protested.

"Ah jam a banana in it, ya peacekeeping little bastard." Apollo said, throwing a stapler at him.

Leaf groaned in pain, as it hit him on the head.

"Go and get my frickin' item, or I'll throw something heavier at ya."

Leaf sighed, before turning to leave.

* * *

Belia finally managed to convince Nightmare to get off her, when Leaf wandered in.

"Good news." Nightmare said. "We're going to the City of the Trapinch."

Leaf groaned, as he jumped on the couch, and looked at the TV.

"What's on?" He asked.

"Jigglypuff's Pillow." Belia replied.

"I love this show!!!!" Leaf remarked. "Apollo said that he'd throw something heavy at me unless you gave him the item back."

Belia sighed.

"I'll give him it later." She replied. "Just ignore the jerk."

"I intend to." Leaf said.

"Get your asses in here!!!!" Duskla yelled.

Nightmare and Leaf looked at each other.

"Okay then, let's go." Leaf said, as they headed out.

* * *

"The desert." Nightmare remarked. "How depressing is that?"

As Tandy soared above the sands, Nightmare and Leaf looked down.

"I don't think it's depressing." Leaf said. "It's boring but..."

Duskla turned to look at them.

"Well, we've only got to deliver this statue and then we can go home." She remarked.

Nightmare nodded.

"So, what about you?" He asked. "You got a one eyed boyfriend?"

She narrowed her eye at him.

"I'm going to ignore that for the moment." Duskla remarked. "Then, I'm going to kick your ass when we're on the ground."

* * *

"Greetings, great ones." A Trapinch said, as the four of them, including Tandy who was dragging the statue, arrived at the City entrance.

"Great ones?" Nightmare remarked. "Oh yeah, they must have seen me coming."

"Actually, we were referring to the Tropius, mate." The Trapinch said.

"Crikey Bruce." Another Trapinch remarked. "That's an absolute stonker of a Tropius."

"And what's that huge thing underneath it?"

Tandy laughed.

"Oho, thank you!!!!" He said, winking.

Duskla removed the ropes keeping the statue secured around Tandy's body, and there was a crash as it fell to the ground.

"Right." Duskla said, taking a clipboard out. "If you can just sign here..."

"We have no hands, you fool!!!!" The Trapinch remarked.

"Ah." Duskla said. "Well, we'll leave it here and you can take care of it whenever you feel like it."

"But, don't you wish to rest up and recharge in our city?" The second Trapinch asked. "It's truly great, mate."

"Actually, I suppose..." Duskla said.

"Great, Bruce." A third Trapinch replied. "Bring the statue in when you come."

"Aw jeez." Nightmare muttered, as he, Leaf and Duskla picked up the statue and started to drag it through the gates.

* * *

"This is a dump." Nightmare remarked, as they dragged the statue through the City.

"Amen to that." Leaf commented, as they carried on.

"Thanks for delivering this, mates." A Trapinch said, as they dumped it in the square. "Please feel free to drink from our yellow waters."

Nightmare looked in a pool, and saw a yellow brackish foul smelling water.

"I'll pass." He said. "It looks like piss."

Leaf wandered around the back....

Only to see a Sandshrew pop up out of a hole.

"Huh?" Leaf said. "What are you...."

"Damn!!!" The Sandshrew exclaimed. "Ninja style!!!!!"

It leaped over and smashed its feet into Leaf, knocking him out.

He then dragged Leaf down the hole.

* * *

"Well, we're just about to leave." Duskla said, looking around.

"Crikey mates." A Trapinch remarked. "It was fair dinkum of you to bring this statue in."

"Have you seen our friend?" Duskla asked.

"The Shaymin?" Another Trapinch said. "He went behind the pool a while ago."

Nightmare wandered around, and looked there.

"There's nothing there but a freaky hole."

"A hole?" A Trapinch asked. "Let me see that?"

The Trapinch scuttled over.

"Damn, they attacked us again!!!!"

"They?!" Nightmare asked.

"Attack!!!!" Duskla said.

"Again!!!!" The Trapinch leader exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Duskla asked.

"Strangely enough, we've been attacked lately by Ninja Sandshrew who want this City to themselves. We think that they took your friend."

"But, why?" Duskla asked. "Don't they have anything better to do?"

"Apparently not, love." The Trapinch leader said. "Their home is about a mile west of here."

Duskla looked at Nightmare, who was already walking away.

"Aww, that's so great." She said. "You're going to rescue him."

"Huh?" Nightmare asked.

"You're going to go and rescue Leaf." Duskla remarked.

"No, I'm not." Nightmare laughed. "I want to get back to New Holimar City, before the pubs shut."

Duskla groaned.

"Right, we're going to take Tandy and get Leaf back!!!" She said.

"We would come to aid you, love." The Trapinch leader commented. "But, we can't be bothered. I tell you what. You two knock all the Sandshrew out and we'll come in and plunder their home, steal all their valuables and rape their women."

Nightmare nodded.

"Sounds reasonable." He said.

* * *

"Is that it?" Duskla asked.

"There ain't nothing else sticking out of the desert." Tandy commented.

Nightmare leaned over, and saw several Sandshrew running around in the desert below.

"Bingo!!!" He exclaimed.

"Where?" Duskla asked.

"I see Leaf tied to a post." Nightmare remarked.

"That's original." Duskla said. "Okay, Tandy. Let's Razor Leaf them!!!!"

Tandy groaned, as he swung his neck and launched several leaves into the ground.

The Sandshrew shrieked in pain, as they were knocked out by the attack.

"Yeah, that did it!!!!" Duskla laughed. "Okay, now use Stomp!!!!"

Tandy suddenly stopped flapping his wings, and fell from the sky.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg!!!!!!!" Nightmare yelled, as they fell through the air.

* * *

Then, almost as soon as it had started, Tandy landed on top of a Sandshrew, crushing it instantly.

"Eurgh!!!!" Tandy exclaimed. "I'll be getting that off my feet for ages."

Nightmare jumped off and kicked another Sandshrew in the head.

"Strength of a Ninja Storm!!!" A Sandshrew shouted, creating a Sandstorm.

Nightmare pulled out a water pistol and shot it in the face with a stream of water.

"OWWWWW!!!!" It yelled. "My eyes!!!!!"

Duskla jumped off and went over to Leaf, who was still tied to a post.

"You came for me!!!" Leaf exclaimed.

Duskla smiled.

"You're one of the team." She said, as Nightmare continued to spray the Sandshrew with water.

"Okay, let's get out of..." Duskla started to say, before a Sandslash appeared behind her.

"Look out!!!" Leaf exclaimed.

Duskla spun around, and took the Sandslash down with a Shadow Punch.

"Nothing to worry about." She said. "I come from an area that's so tough, you often see Pokemon killing themselves by jumping off buildings."

Leaf looked at her, with surprise.

"Okay." He said. "Can you please untie me?"

She did so, before the two of them started to run back to Tandy.

"Nightmare, we're ready to go!!!" Duskla yelled.

"Hold on!!!" Nightmare shouted, as he pulled something out of a Sandshrew hole.

It was a bottle of Sandshrew Daniels Whisky.

"This'll do me!!!" The Gas Pokemon exclaimed, as he jumped onto Tandy who started to fly away.

* * *

"Damnit!!!" Duskla exclaimed, after about five minutes.

"What?" Leaf asked, worried.

"Those Trapinch didn't pay us."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Damn Trapinch.**

**Still, at least Leaf was saved from those Sandshrew. Ninja Sandshrew.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews!!!!! They are appreciated!!!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**If anyone has any ideas they want to throw in, then feel free to throw them in on a message or review!!!**

**Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!!**


	7. Time Slips Away

Chapter Seven. Time Slips Away.

* * *

One morning at the Team Rescue Express Headquarters, Nightmare, Leaf, Duskla and Belia were sat around watching the hit show Jigglypuff's Pillow.

_"But, Ivan!!!!!" The Jigglypuff exclaimed to the Machoke. "I love you."_

_"Heh." The Machoke said with a thick accent. "You know vot I love. The sweet sweet smell of success, and that is vot I will get."_

_"But, how?" Julie asked._

_"Simple, I vill join the operation to carpet the Muk village in mustard sauce."_

"I don't get this show." Nightmare said. "So, the evil Machoke..."

"Ivan's not evil!!!!!!" Belia, Leaf and Duskla yelled. "Just misunderstood."

"Heh, you know who else was misunderstood?" Nightmare asked. "The Coppingers."

"Who?"

"Ah screw the lot of you." Nightmare remarked, as he opened a Black Persian Beer.

* * *

The commercials came on, when Professor Alaworth wandered in.

"Good news everyone!!!!!" He said. "I think I may have discovered a way to control time."

"Meh." Nightmare replied.

"Who cares." Belia asked.

"But, I need you to go to the highest mountain, and get blood from Dialga in order for it to work." Alaworth exclaimed.

Nightmare jumped up.

"Neat, I'll get my hack saw."

"I'll just get Apollo to give you the run down." Alaworth said, as the angry Ludicolo wandered in.

"Right, now listen up, ya bastards." Apollo said. "Get a load of this, the crazy old fool wants you to go and get blood from that bastard Dialga. Now, Dialga might not be willing to give up his blood, so... If all else fails, throw a crew member at him and run the hell away. I'd go with the Shaymin. He looks the lightest little bugger."

Nightmare was writing it down.

"Yep, sacrifice Leaf." He said. "Is there anything about killing Dr. Krabbleberg?"

"Yeah, don't do it unless he comes at you with medical advice." Apollo explained. "Then, go nuts."

He made to go back.

"Oh, and Belia." Apollo said, lightly

The Buizel looked up.

"Give my back my DVD, or I'll kill your family and piss on the ashes."

* * *

"So, this is the highest mountain in Verger." Nightmare commented. "The Merlin Plateau. It feels like just yesterday I was here."

"Why were you here, honey?" Tandy asked.

"To kill humans." Nightmare answered.

"Why were you trying to kill humans?" Duskla asked.

Nightmare laughed.

"Well, since there aren't any around, I did a good job."

Leaf looked down.

"So, what are we looking for?" The Shaymin asked.

"A sign saying Palkia sucks ass." Duskla replied. "Those two really don't like each other. They haven't since she cheated on him with Kyogre, and there was that huge picture in the papers of Dialga squaring up to Kyogre. We really don't need another celebrity divorce."

"Right." Nightmare said, as he held his hacksaw up. "So, you distract the wimp, and I'll try and hack his leg off."

"You think that he'll let you do that?" Duskla asked.

"Would you?" Nightmare asked. "I'll just sharpen it on Tandy's ass."

Tandy screamed in pain, before murmuring with content.

"Mmm."

"Okay, there's the sign." Leaf called.

"Palkia Sucks Ass." Nightmare said.

"Don't let her hear you say that." Duskla advised. "She's a real bitch."

* * *

Tandy landed a few feet away from the sign.

"Righty." Tandy said. "Anyone see the can anywhere?"  
"Just do it on the ground." Nightmare remarked, as Leaf jumped off the back of Tandy...

Only to be covered in something brown and smelly.

"Oh for the love of...!!!!" Leaf exclaimed. "I'm covered in Tropius shit!!!!!!"

Duskla sighed.

"Well, I would say that it's your own fault." She remarked. "But, I do feel a slight bit of pity, so I'll tell you that there's a watering hole nearby, where the Stantler drink. Go jump in that."

Leaf wandered away, as Nightmare looked at Duskla.

"Isn't that a bit harsh on the Stantler who have to drink there?"

"Since when did you care about Stantler?" Duskla asked.

"I don't." Nightmare replied. "However, someone has to ask these questions."

* * *

They were eventually rejoined by a wet Leaf, who was looking miserable.

"Sorry little dude." Tandy called.

Leaf just glared at him, before following Nightmare and Duskla towards the hole in the ground.

"Dialga!!!!!" Duskla called into the hole. "Are you in there?!!!!"

"Who is it?!!!!" A deep voice called.

"We want some of your blood!!!!!" Nightmare yelled. "Now, give it up or we come in there and kick your ass!!!!!!!"

"Some subtlety would be nice." Leaf groaned, as the ground started to shake.

Then, Dialga appeared in front of them.

"So, why do two ghosts and a Shaymin want my blood?" He asked.

"We're really big fans!!!!!" Duskla called. "We love your work and want something to prove that we met you."

Dialga glared at her and Leaf, not noticing that Nightmare was edging away.

"Do you really expect me to buy that?!!!!!!" He thundered, as Nightmare pulled the hacksaw out and started to cut away at the back of one of Dialga's rear legs.

"My blood is precious!!!!!" Dialga said. "Indeed nobody gets my blood without my say so. This stuff can control the very fabric of time!!!!"  
Nightmare stuck a straw into the hole and started to suck the blood out, before spitting it into a bucket.

"Dialga blood should not be used for fear of the disastrous consequences." Dialga continued. "Why, if it was to get into the hands of a demented despot, then...."

"GOT IT!!!!!!!!" Nightmare yelled, as he ran past Dialga.

Duskla and Leaf ran after him, ignoring the roars from Dialga.

"My leg hurts!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

"So, Professor, what do you need this for?" Nightmare asked, as he dipped his finger in the Dialga blood.

"Well, I was considering putting it in the time machine that I invented." Professor Alaworth explained, as he started to heat the blood up. "Or, at the very least, I could put it on pancakes and see if it makes me younger."

"I go for the baked food option." Dr. Krabbleberg remarked. "Maybe you could share some with your good pal, Dr. Krabbleberg!!!!!"

Alaworth smiled, before picking a chair up and whacking the Krabby with it.

"No means no!!!!!" He said. "If you want food, get your own!!!!!!"

Nightmare suddenly realised that the blood was getting hot, while he still had his hand in it. He yelped, as he threw it out.

Some of the blood accidentally landed on Duskla....

Turning her into a Dusknoir.

"Hey!!!!" She protested. "I liked being a Dusclops."

She reached into the bucket, and flicked some of the blood over Nightmare....

Who turned into a Gastly.

"Hey!!!!!" Nightmare yelled. "Now, I'll never be able to drink again."

"Hmm!!!" Alaworth remarked, as he adjusted his glasses. "It appears that the blood of Dialga does contain the secret to...."

There was a flash of light.

"Getting a damn good whipping." Alaworth said. "Anyway, that's the secret to getting good sex from Torchics."

"I feel sick." Leaf remarked.

"Hey!!!" Nightmare exclaimed, as he floated into the bucket and turned back into a Gengar. "What just happened?"

"Wasn't it daylight outside?" Leaf asked, as he looked out of the window, and seeing that it was night.

"Dear Zombie Arceus!!!!!" Alaworth exclaimed. "We're jumping forward...."

Another flash of light.

"In front of a car." Alaworth finished. "So, anyway, if you ever have trouble with Bidoof, you should just do that."

"It did it again." Leaf said. "It's the daytime."

"Hmm." Nightmare remarked. "So let me get this straight...."

He looked at Professor Alaworth.

"Tell me what's going..."

A third flash of light.

"Down tonight!!!!" Nightmare sang, as the disco lights were on in the Rescue Express building. "Just let me get going on down tonight, and maybe I'll always... I'm singing a song I have no idea of the words to."

He threw the microphone aside.

"It did it again." Leaf exclaimed, as Dukla washed herself in Dialga blood, turning her into a Duskull.

As her hands vanished, she dropped the bucket on the floor.

"No!!!!" She wailed, dropping down and trying to rub herself in it.

She eventually managed to turn back into a Dusclops.

"Woohoo!!!" Duskla yelled, touching herself all over. "I'm younger than I was."

"Good for you." Alaworth remarked. "You spilt my blood, you moron!!!!!"

She groaned.

"I'm sorry, but my hands vanished."

"That's no excuse!!!!" Alaworth snapped. "If there were more psychics in the world, then we wouldn't need hands."

"You have hands." Nightmare pointed out.

"That's only to fool the people at the institute of smart Pokemon." Alaworth replied.

"My head hurts." Leaf said.

"Now, listen up!!!!" Alaworth called. "I think that the only way to stop the time leap's from happening is to...."

A fourth flash of light.

"Anyway apologising is bad. But, you have to apologise to Dialga."

"Yeah, that should go...." Leaf started to say.

A fifth flash of light.

"Your apology is accepted." Dialga said. "Now, where's my blood?"

"It was spilt onto the floor, your mighty Dialganess!!!!" Duskla explained.

"Really, the floor?" Dialga asked. "Truly a sad day when my blood adorns the floor. Just tell me you have a carpet."

Everyone present shook their head.

"Damn!!!" Dialga said. "Anyway, if any of you try to steal my blood again, then I will..."  
A flash of light, and Leaf, Nightmare and Duskla were back in front of the TV.

"I'm just glad we didn't here the last of that." Nightmare laughed.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Well, I hope you found that good. I enjoyed writing it.**

**More of a series of oneshot adventures than an actual continuous storyline.**

**Oh and I should point out that the TV show, Jigglypuffs Pillow bears no relation to the author of the same name.**

**Anyway, thanks for reviewing. They are appreciated.**

**Incidentally, there's no prize for this, but the premise is based on another cartoon other than Pokemon. If anyone can guess what it is, then you can pat yourself on the back.**

**Any storylines or characters are welcomed.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!!!**


	8. A Home Of My Own

Chapter Eight. A Home Of My Own.

* * *

Nightmare awoke on the couch of the Rescue Express building, and looked at Leaf, who was sleeping in a basket in the corner.

"I enjoyed that sleep." He yawned, reaching into his stomach and pulling out his breakfast. A bottle of Black Persian Beer.

Leaf opened an eye, when the hiss of air escaping from the bottle was heard.

"Keep it down." The Shaymin muttered.

"Screw you." Nightmare replied, as the door opened, and Apollo came in.

"Morning." Apollo said, looking at them. "Now, we've made a decision, and I've decided that it costs too much to keep you two living here for free. Now kindly piss off and don't let the door hit ya on the ass. I don't want ass prints on the door."

* * *

"What a wanker." Nightmare remarked, as he and Leaf ended up in the street. "Kicking us out of there just because we don't pay rent, bills or contribute anything of value."

"Yeah, that's bad." Leaf yawned. "Can I ride on your head?"

"As long as you pay me." Nightmare said.

Leaf groaned, before coughing up a dollar bill.

Nightmare picked it up.

"Damn, it has Shaymin saliva on it."

He wiped it on Leaf's back, and wandered off.

"Where are you going?" Leaf asked.

"O'Riolu's." Nightmare said. "Thought I'd hang out there until Apollo goes home, and then sneak back into the Rescue Express building."

"Or, we could just find a place to live." Leaf remarked.

"What, together?" Nightmare asked.

"Yeah."

The Gengar mused on it.

"Go on then." He said. "I always wanted a pet."

* * *

"So, as you can see, this is a cardboard box." The Graveller explained. "The good thing about living here is that you can take your home with you when you leave."

Leaf crawled into the cardboard box.

"Hey, it's comfy." He remarked.

Nightmare shrugged.

"Nah, I'm looking for something more along the lines of a haunted house." He replied.

"Then you need to see my cousin, the Shiftry." The Graveller remarked. "We're doing a very reasonable line in haunted houses. It comes with complimentary Misdreavous."

"Really?!!!!" Nightmare asked, eagerly.

"It's a male Misdreavous." The Graveller explained.

"Well, that's disgusting that we have to have a Misdreavous in the building." Nightmare said, changing his tune.

"Here's an idea." Leaf remarked, crawling out of the box. "Why don't we just find a place we can both live in."

Nightmare groaned.

"But, where's the fun in that?" He asked.

* * *

"This place is okay." Leaf remarked, as they wandered into an apartment.

Nightmare shrugged.

"I don't know." He said. "I was wanting something a bit closer to a local alcohol retail outlet."

"Well, there is a shop nearby that sells Black Persian Beer." Gordon the Graveller explained. "At very reasonable prices, I hear."

Nightmare looked up.

"Well, I suppose that it's okay." He remarked. "But, does it have a personal ass scratcher in the bathroom?"  
"What, a wall?" Gordon asked. "Of course."

"Then, we can do business." Nightmare remarked. "How much is the rent?"

Gordon told him.

"Ah." Nightmare said. "We can't actually afford that."

"Then get the hell out of here." Gordon said.

* * *

"I like this place." Nightmare remarked, as they wandered into the next place.

"This is a one bedroomed apartment above Patrick O'Riolu's." Leaf said. "Where would I sleep?"

Nightmare looked around.

"In the closet."

"Oh thank you." Leaf said, sarcastically. "Just what I always wanted. To sleep in a closet in a room next to a social outcast Gengar."

"Hey, my social skills far outrival yours, you c**t." Nightmare replied. "I have finesse coming out of the ass."

"Prove it." Leaf said. "Go out tonight, and come back with a female Gengar."

Nightmare snorted.

"Do I have to be sober?" He asked.

Leaf looked up.

"Err... No."

"Then, kiss my ass goodbye." Nightmare said, going out of the room.

Leaf instantly dived on the bed.

"Baggsy." He muttered.

Nightmare walked back into the room and kicked him off the bed.

"Keep dreaming." He laughed, before going out again.

* * *

Leaf awoke later to find a highly drunk Nightmare glaring at him.

"You wanker!!!!" Nightmare exploded. "There are no other Gengar in this world. Since humans died out, nobody can trade them in order for them to evolve."

"Yeah, I just wanted rid of you for a few hours." Leaf replied.

Nightmare glared at him, before walking out of the closet, and diving onto the bed.

"Moron." He muttered.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Okay, so it's not very long, but I honestly couldn't think of much to put in here, so... Yeah.**

**Basically, they just end up with a new place to live, since Apollo kicked them out of the Rescue Express building.**

**He's such a friendly guy that Ludicolo.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews. They are appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please.**


	9. When Tyranitars Attack

Chapter Nine. When Tyranitar's Attack.

* * *

Nightmare, Leaf, Belia, Duskla and Dr. Krabbleberg were sat in the Rescue Express Building, watching TV. A Gardevoir was reading the news.

_"And in other news, the Swinub Flu has left Exerico City, and is moving north. Pokemon should be incredibly worried, because WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!!! Horribly and painfully in a pit of despair. Is there nothing that can save us!!!!!!!!"_

Duskla snorted.

"Swinub Flu, what a joke." She remarked. "It comes from a place that, unless you have a decent amount of money, has a crap health system. And what have the Pokemon there been doing with the Swinub that has caused the spread of this flu that it quite frankly a joke. PokeRus is more likely to kill you."

"Yeah, I'm going to go to that place over my dead body." Leaf commented.

"Good news everyone!!!" Professor Alaworth said, walking into the room. "You've been drafted in to help transport the citizens of Exerico City to safety."

"Am I immune to Swinub Flu?" Nightmare asked.

Alaworth scoffed.

"Pish tosh, and the like. Swinub Flu is the biggest joke since I invented that solar powered machine that tells you when you're going to die."

Apollo came in, holding several sheets of paper.

"Meanwhile, can you please sign these papers, ya bastards?" Apollo asked. "It just says that in the event of you contracting a ice type Pokemon related disease, you can't sue anyone."

"Not even Rescue Express?" Leaf exlclaimed.

"Especially not Rescue Express, ya green moronic bastard." Apollo replied. "Now get the hell out of here."

Alaworth looked at Apollo, before handing him a notice.

"Put this on a noticeboard." He said. "I have a strange feeling we'll need new crew members before the week is out."

"Hey, we're still alive!!!!" Duskla protested.

"Of course." Alaworth smiled. "And we hope that it remains that way for a long period of time."

As they walked out, he looked at Apollo and shook his head.

"They're doomed."

* * *

"Ooh!!" Tandy remarked. "I wonder what that is."

The three of them looked down and saw several Machoke gesturing up at them.

"Isn't that the Security Force who protect New Holimar City from anyone who wants to invade?" Leaf asked.

"It looks like they want us to pull over." Duskla commented. "Okay, Tandy, down."

Tandy groaned, as they landed.

"Sorry folks." One of the Machoke said. "You can't go any further."

"But we're going to save Swinub Flu victims." Duskla replied.

"Sorry, but the Tyranitars of Omnicron City are coming to invade New Holimar City." The Machoke continued. "So, nobody goes in or out."

* * *

"Well, I hope they paid in advance." Duskla remarked, as she finished telling Alaworth what had happened.

Nightmare shrugged, as he switched the TV on, where a Lucario was talking to the screen.

"My fellow Pokemon of New Holimar City." He said.

"That's Mayor Anubis!!!" Leaf exclaimed.

"We are entering a time where our greatest fears are going to be put in front of us."

The screen fizzled out, before being replaced with a video image of a vicious looking Tyranitar.

"Greetings!!!!!" The Tyranitar roared. "I am Tyrel, ruler of the Omnicron City. And unless you surrender your Black Persian Beer, then we are going to come in and take your warm refreshing liquid from you by force. If you don't, then it means war."

The screen was replaced with the image of Mayor Anubis.

"Well, I'm sure that you saw that." Anubis said. "So, without further ado, fresh from the destruction of the Magikarp civilisation, I give you the world's greatest hero. Commandant Slak Borillo."

Slak walked onto the screen.

"Thank you, my loyal fans." He said. "Now, before further ado, I would just like to remind everyone that I am signing autographs outside the town hall in fifteen minutes."

He looked at a shocked crowd.

"And then we're going to kick the asses of these Tyranitar wimps back to the backward City where they came from. We only know one thing. They stand for everything that we don't, and such we are going to defeat them because our way of life is vastly superior. I will send wave after wave of Machoke at them until the problem is resolved. We are sure to take high casualties, but that is something that doesn't worry me. Because, I know that every single one of those Machoke is willing to lay down his or her life for the sake of freedom."

Rif leaned up and whispered something in his ears.

"And also, they told me that you Pokemon are a bunch of dorks who couldn't defend the honour of yo mama's."

"It's true." Apollo remarked. "I'm glad my fat ugly mama isn't around to watch us get slaughtered by a bunch of rock eating Pokemon from the arse end of nowhere."

Nightmare looked around.  
"Come on!!!!" He said. "Are we really going to let them take the beer? This stuff is what gives us sustenance. I would love to fight and defend it, but I'm a conscientius objector when it comes to war."

"A what?" Leaf asked.

"Y'know." Nightmare replied. "A coward."

Slak continued to speak.

"Anyone who wishes to fight will be given a huge sack of cash, and any Black Persian Beer that isn't swiped by these filthy interlopers."

"Hmm." Nightmare said. "I have an idea."

* * *

"We're here to enlist!!!" Nightmare said, throwing Leaf, Duskla and Dr. Krabbleberg onto the table.

The Machop looked at them.

"What makes you qualified to join in the fight against the Tyranitar?"

"I have the morals of an Ekans and the will to fight of a Primeape." Nightmare said. "My Shaymin friend just wants to laugh in the face of danger. He's a doctor, who could be used to irritate the crap out of the enemy, and she is... A Dusclops."

The Machop looked at them, when Slak wandered over, smoking a cigar.

"Aha." He remarked. "New volunteers."

He looked at Nightmare.  
"Haven't we met before?"

"Yeah, dealing with General Boma." Nightmare said.

"Aha." Slak remarked. "I liked your lack of style."

He looked at the Machop.

"Put them in the unit designated for the front line."

"Err..." Leaf called, jumping up. "Mr. Slak?"

Slak looked down.

"I have an idea on how we could cut down on the number of casualties."

Slak snorted.

"Well, where's the fun in doing that during a war?" He asked, turning to walk away.

"And it was a good one too." Leaf remarked, sadly.

"What was it?" Duskla asked.

"Well, they want Black Persian Beer." Leaf said. "So, why don't we just give them another beer and put it in Black Persian Bottles."

Nightmare kicked him.

"You can't defile a bottle of Black Persian Beer like that!!!!" He said, angrily.

"Hey, no fighting!!!!" The Machop yelled.

"Screw you, Pork Chop." Nightmare said.

* * *

"I can't believe we were kicked out." Dr. Krabbleberg remarked, as they watched the battle unfold on TV. "I thought that it was impossible to get kicked out of the Security Force."

"Apparently when I'm around, nothing is impossible." Nightmare said, as Slak rode around on a Salamence watching the attack. A Chatot flew next to him, interviewing him.

"So, Slak, how do you think the battle between the Security Force is going?" The Chatot asked.

Slak shook his head.

"It's going well, Chatter." He replied. "However, I'm dismayed that not more of my soldiers seem willing to give up their lives for great television."

"Yeah, our ratings are going down, the studio tells me." The Chatot continued.

"Hold on." Slak said, looking down on the battlefield. "Lucy, Hyper Beam!!!!"

"Stop calling me Lucy, you inept wanker." The Salamence roared, before launching the bright orange beam of energy towards the battlefield.

It missed the Tyranitar and knocked out several Machokes, wounding them badly.

"Well, you just wiped out half of our defence force." Chatter remarked. "Any words for those at home pissing themselves in fear."  
"Yeah." Slak said. "Although defeat maybe humiliating, sometimes it is better to die without honour than to die honourably and painfully."

"Well, I'm glad I'm not out there." Duskla said. "I find it so hard to get stones out of my skin."

Leaf walked over to the phone.

"Where are you going?" Nightmare asked.

"I'm going to phone Mayor Anubis." Leaf replied. "And tell him my idea about the fake beer."

* * *

"So, is that everything?" Tyrel asked, as he looked at the bathtub, in which the bottles were deposited.

"Yeah." Mayor Anubis replied. "One thousand bottles of Black Persian Beer."

Tyrel reached down and opened one with his teeth. He swallowed the contents, before lookin angrily at Mayor Anubis.

"This is passable." Tyrel roared, picking the bathtub up and walking away. "We will leave now, because we want to drink this stuff."

* * *

"Whew, narrow catastrophe averted." Duskla remarked, watching it on TV.

"And it's all thanks to me." Leaf said. "Yay me."

Nightmare flicked him on the back of the head.

"Shut up, Leaf." He remarked.

"I can't help but wonder what was in the beer they gave away." Duskla remarked.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**This is one of my favourite chapters so far.**

**It starts with Swinub Flu and ends up with Tyranitars. What more do you want?**

**Thanks so much to the people who have reviewed!!! It's appreciated!!!**

**Offers still open for characters or storylines.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!!**


	10. Wild Leaf Part One

Chapter Ten. Wild Leaf. Part One.

* * *

"So, this is the future cinema." Nightmare remarked, as he followed Leaf and Belia into the building.

"Yeah." Duskla said from behind him.

Alaworth went to the counter.

"Good evening." He said. "I'm running a team bonding session, and we're hear to see Jigglypuff's Pillow. The Movie."

The Togetic behind the counter looked at him.

"How many?" The Happiness Pokemon asked.

Alaworth looked around, at Nightmare, Duskla, Belia, Leaf, Tandy and Apollo.

"Count them, you lazy moron!!!!"

Togetic did so.

"Okay, eight for Jigglypuff's Pillow."

* * *

Meanwhile back at the Rescue Express building.

"Where is everyone?" Dr. Krabbleberg asked, looking around.

* * *

"I still don't get this." Nightmare said, as he swallowed a Black Persian Beer.

_"Julie." Ivan said, sadly. "I have to leave you, because I have amnesia and I need to find myself."_

_"But?!!" The Jigglypuff asked. "Why?"_

_"The evil Khan has declared war on my home, and I think defeating him could hold the key to getting my memory back."_

_Julie looked sadly at him._

_"I suppose you have to do what you have to do."_

Nightmare yawned, and whacked Leaf with his bottle.

Leaf yelped in pain, spitting popcorn over the Meganium sat in front of him.

The Herb Pokemon instantly spun around.

"Uh oh!!!!" Leaf said. "Sorry about that?"

"Sorry?" The Meganium bellowed. "You little runt, I'll..."  
"Hey, there's no need to call him that." Nightmare said.

"I said Runt." The Meganium replied.

"Aha." Nightmare said. "That's okay then."

He pulled another beer out, and went back to the movie.

"You spat popcorn over me!!!!" The Meganium said. "Now, prepare to die!!!!"

Leaf jumped up and headbutted the Herb Pokemon. It went down instantly.

The Shaymin then jumped on his head, knocking him out.

"Hold your applause." Leaf said, as a Breloom that was sitting near the Meganium got up and walked over.

"Woah, you just beat the crap out of one of my fighters." The Breloom said. "You just beat up the Pollinator."

"Wow." Leaf exclaimed. "I'm a huge fan."

The Meganium groaned.

"I'm Barney, the owner of the Ultimate Grass Pokemon Fighting." Barney said. "I go around looking for jerks who pick fights in the cinema, the restaurant, the john, everything. I want you to become my next jerk!!!!"

"Woohoo!!!!" Leaf exclaimed. "Nightmare, teach me how to be a jerk!!!!!!!"

"Screw you, wanker." Nightmare replied.

* * *

Leaf headbutted the punching bag, and looked up.

"Yeah, I'm in the zone." He said. "Barney said that I'm going to fight the Shiftertaker tomorrow night."

"They're throwing you in at the deep end with no training?" Duskla asked. "That sounds irresponsible."

Nightmare snorted.

"Hey, what's irresponsible about that?" He asked. "Sink or swim."

He looked at Leaf.

"The most important think to remember in a fight is aim low and hard."

"Like this?" Leaf asked, leaping up and tackling Dr. Krabbleberg in the groin.

Dr. Krabbleberg instantly fell over screaming.

"Isn't that anatomically impossible?" Belia asked.

"Belia." Nightmare asked. "I've been meaning to ask you. What the hell do you do around here?"

"Alaworth likes to keep me around, because I have the same blood type as him." Belia remarked.

"Are you all coming to watch me beat this guy into the ground?" Leaf asked.  
"We're going to watch somebody get beaten into the ground." Nightmare replied. "That reminds me, I've got great odds."

Krabbleberg looked up.

"I've got my entire fortune on the Shiftertaker." He said.

Nightmare held his hands out.

"I'll give you sixteen to two."

Krabbleberg mused, before dropping a handful of dollar bills into Nightmare's hands.

"I'll take it."

Krabbleberg wandered away laughing.

Duskla looked up at him.

"You aren't actually going to give him any money if he wins, are you?" She asked.

Nightmare snorted.

"Of course I'm not." He replied. "Do I look like a charity?"

* * *

"Pokemon of Holimar City!!!!" The Exploud said. "I give you, courtesy of the UGPFC, a crowd favourite, The Shiftertaker."

A hulking Shiftry wandered out into the arena, and glared at the crowd.

"I'm going to eat your children!!!!!!" The Wicked Pokemon exclaimed, to booes.

"And early trash talk from the favourite." The Loudred next to the Exploud remarked. "Facing off against him is a new entry onto the circuit. Fresh from his bout with the Pollinator over an unfortunate popcorn incident, we have the Leaf Blower!!!!"

Leaf bounced onto the stage, and waved at the crowd.

"Hi, everybody."

* * *

"That's the worst name I ever heard in my life." Apollo remarked. "The little bastard is doomed."

He looked at Nightmare.

"Give me twenty on Shiftertaker."

Apollo dropped a wad of cash in Nightmare's hands.

Nightmare instantly pocketed it.

"Oh, and you're fired if you don't give me my winnings."

"Damn you!!!!" Nightmare exclaimed.

* * *

Leaf glared at the Shiftry, as the referee, a Skarmory, flapped down and looked at them.

"Steel Wing, widely acknowledged as the best referee in the UGPFC is going to referee this match."

"We're just going to hear him go through the rules of the bout."

"Anything goes!!!!!" The Skarmory exclaimed, before flying into the air, and using Metal Sound to signify the start of the fight.

Shiftertaker was instantly in, and smashed his foot down on Leaf's head, knocking the Gratitude Pokemon out cold.

"Holy crap, that was fast." Exploud exclaimed.

Barney looked at Shiftry, who then clutched at his foot in pain.

"Argh!!!!!!!!!" Shiftertaker shouted, before collapsing.

Leaf then slowly got up, and looked around.

Steel flew down.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!!!!" The Skarmory exclaimed. "It's over."

* * *

Nightmare spat a mouthful of Blue Wailord out over the Pokemon in front of him.

"No way!!!!!" He yelled. "I'm rich!!!"

Krabbleberg burst into tears.

"I'm even poorer than I was before."

Apollo sighed.

"Ah well, I'm glad I didn't put more on it."

Nightmare smiled.

"Hey, Apollo." He said. "I tell you what, I'll give you half your money back, because I'm feeling generous."

Krabbleberg instantly looked up.

"Forget about it." Nightmare remarked, causing Dr. Krabbleberg to burst into tears again.

* * *

"Woohoo!!!!" Leaf exclaimed, as he looked at Barney. "I'm the greatest."

Barney laughed.

"Actually." He said. "You're the worst."

Shiftertaker walked in, looking completely unharmed.

"Hey, weren't you dead?" Leaf asked.

The Shiftry laughed.

"Nah." He replied.

"You see, the UGPFC is fixed." Barney said. "We wanted to make a stack of money by having the favourite lose."

"Aha." Leaf remarked. "So, I didn't lose because I'm amazing?"  
"Nah, you won because I said so." Barney remarked.

"That's even better." Leaf said. "When's my next fight?"

"Never." Barney replied. "You've served your purpose, so there's the door."

Leaf walked out, sadly.

* * *

"Wow, he took that well." Shiftertaker remarked, as there was a noise outside. "Usually they threaten to beat you up."

Barney walked to the window, and saw several Pokemon yelling at him.

He opened the window, and looked out.

"What do you want?" Barney yelled.

"Rematch!!!!!" They replied.

"Hmmmm." Barney said. "Get that Shaymin back in here!!!!!"

* * *

"I don't know." Leaf remarked. "I'm considering it, but I had my feelings hurt by that snub before."

"Yeah, it was one big joke." Barney said. "The fans want a rematch between you and Shiftertaker."

"But, is it going to be fixed?" Leaf asked.

Barney smiled.

"Depends." He replied. "If they punt a lot of cash one way, then it will be. If it looks pretty tight, you'll fight to the death."

"Okay."

* * *

"Nightmare." Leaf said. "I need you to teach me self defense."

Nightmare looked down at the Gratitude Pokemon.

"What's it worth?" He asked.

"Please!!!!" Leaf said. "I'll pay you after I get my cut."

Nightmare laughed.

"Okay."

He got up, before taking a deep breath. Nightmare then took a beer bottle and smashed it into Leaf's head. Leaf groaned in pain, as Nightmare picked him up and smashed him into the ground, before grabbing him by a leg and slinging him into the wall.

"See." Nightmare said. "I didn't get hurt at all."

Leaf groaned, before passing out.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**And the next part will be up soon.**

**I enjoyed writing this though.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews. They are all welcomed.**

**Thanks for reading. Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!**


	11. Wild Leaf Part Two

Chapter Eleven. Wild Leaf. Part Two.

* * *

Nightmare walks over to the screen.

"Hi, I'm Nightmare, the friendly neighbourhood Gengar, and last time, my moronic friend Leaf got involved with the Ultimate Grass Pokemon Fighting Championship, after beating up a Meganium known as the Pollinator in the cinema. A Breloom was watching, and signed him up. Then, Leaf battled Shiftertaker, who went down surprisingly easy. Now, I don't know the ins and outs of this, but I would say that it looked like it was fixed. Meanwhile, due to the moronic Dr. Krabbleberg, I managed to make a stack of cash out of it. And Leaf's going to fight Shiftertaker in a rematch, prompting him to ask me to teach him some basic self defense. After beating the crap out of him, I sat down and watched Jigglypuff's Pillow, only for Dr. Krabbleberg to declare that Leaf needed a doctor.

Alaworth wanders onto the screen.

"Stop slacking, you fool!!!!" He said. "We need to go and visit Leaf at the hospital!!!!"

"The hospital?" Nightmare asked. "How come?"

"Well, he's too weak to talk much, but apparently six very large Pokemon with dark skin wandered into this building and beat him senseless. Oh, it's such a tragedy. I had high hopes of having a Shaymin head on the wall of my lab, but he looks like he might pull through."

Apollo came into the room.

"Tandy is ready to fly." He said. "You might want to come."

"Why, where are we going?" Alaworth asked.

"To see Leaf!!!" Apollo replied.

"Who?"

* * *

"He looks terrible." Duskla commented, as she looked down.

"Er... That's a Seviper." Belia remarked.

"I know." Duskla said. "But that doesn't make him look any better."

The two of them wandered over to where Leaf was laid in bed. A Chansey was looking at him.

"Such a waste." She remarked. "Who could do such a terrible thing to such a poor innocent soul."

"Is he going to be okay?" Belia asked.

The Chansey shook her head.

"It might be touch and go." She said. "But, he may never walk again."

The two of them gasped.

"On water that is." The Chansey continued.

"Wait, he couldn't walk on water before." Duskla replied.

"Yeah, I can't do that." Belia said. "And, I'm a Buizel."

The Chansey narrowed her eyes at her.

"I'm well aware of that."

Nightmare, Alaworth and Apollo wandered in.

"How is he?" Apollo asked, taking an envelope out.

"Aww, you brought him a card." Duskla remarked.

Apollo looked confused.

"No, ya dumb broad." He remarked. "This is a bill for the hospital room. We give nothing but the best medical protection to our employers."  
He smiled, sadistically.

"However, they have to pay for it."

"You penny pinching scumbag." Belia remarked.

Apollo rounded on her.

"Well, since the dumb rescue team never seems to bring back any cash, we have to make certain cutbacks."

Duskla looked ready to protest, but stopped, as Leaf slowly opened his eyes.

"Where am I?" He whispered. "Am I dead."

Nightmare put a finger over his lips, as he dropped a towel over Leaf's eyes.

"Aha, young Shaymin!!!!!" He said, in a deep voice. "I am Heatran, lord of the underworld. I sent my Dusknoir soldiers to bring you here. Since you lead a life of sin, I have partaken an eternal life of punishment for you to endure. I have started by depriving you of your sight."

Leaf trembled in fear, as Nightmare continued, removing a lighter from his stomach.

"You will soon feel the flames of my wrath upon you."

"Nightmare!!!!!!!!" Belia exclaimed. "You're frightening the life out of him!!!!"

Leaf jumped up, before collapsing back in pain.

"Belia, help!!!!!" He yelled, real fear in his voice. "I'm so scared."

Duskla removed the towel, and glared at Nightmare.

"What?" Nightmare asked, as the door opened, and Barney came in, flanked by the Shiftertaker and an Exeggutor.

"Wow, is it crowded in here?" The Chansey asked. "Everyone out."

Barney, the Breloom glared at her.

"Do you know who I am?" He asked. "That Shaymin is one of my employees, and I am here to check on his health."

"What are you?" Belia asked, looking at the Exeggutor.

"We are Executor." The three heads of Exeggutor replied.

"Right!!!!" Nightmare said. "What are you doing here?"

Barney smiled.

"You should watch your mouth, Gengar." He said. "Otherwise, I'll get Shiftertaker to shut it for you."

Nightmare laughed, as he looked at the hulking Shiftry.

"Better Pokemon than him have tried." He replied. "Mesprit and Mew to be precise. And I'm still here aren't I?"

Barney laughed.

"You talk big." He remarked. "I like that in a Pokemon."

He looked at Leaf.

"Yo, Leaf Blower." He said. "Are you able to fight Shiftertaker?"

Leaf shook his head, weakly.

"No." He said, softly. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry!!!!!!!" Barney yelled, glaring at Leaf. "We've just sold eighty thousand tickets, and we're going to have to give the money back because you hurt yourself and can't fight!!!!!!! Sorry isn't good enough."

Duskla and Apollo both glared at Barney.

"Do you mind?!!!!" Duskla snapped. "This is a medical facility, and you are trying to perpetuate violence in here."

Barney laughed.

"Hey, if it isn't going to be in here, it would be on the streets." He said.

Executor and Shiftertaker laughed.

Barney stopped laughing, as he looked at Leaf.

"You better be able to fight, otherwise the losing will look incredibly realistic."

"Woah." Nightmare said. "UGPFC is a big fix?"

"Damn!!!" Barney replied. "Yeah, it's a fix. I do it to make an incredible amount of money, and so if your little friend isn't able to fake the fight, then he'll have to lose it for real."

Shiftertaker cracked his knuckles.

Nightmare laughed.

"Heh, that Shiftry couldn't stop a Magikarp." He remarked.

Barney sighed.

"Shiftertaker, break his legs."

"That shouldn't be hard." Nightmare remarked. "I have no bones."

As the Wicked Pokemon charged towards him, Nightmare sidestepped the attack before launching a Toxic Jab that floored Shiftertaker instantly.

Nightmare grinned.

"This should be something you'll appreciate." He remarked, bending over and picking the unconscious Shiftertaker up.

Nightmare wandered over to the nearest window.

"You're about to lose another fighter." He said, throwing the Pokemon out of the window.

Barney sighed, as he heard the splat of Shiftertaker hitting the pavement.

"Ah well." He remarked. "You know, I have an idea how this can be all made right."

* * *

Nightmare laughed, as Duskla looked out at the arena.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" She asked.

Nightmare snorted.

"I've never been more certain of anything." He replied. "I'll go in as a special attraction, pretend to lose and then collect my earnings."

Duskla smirked.

"You aren't really going to do that though." She said. "Are you?"

Nightmare snorted again.

"Of course not." He replied. "I don't suppose you fancy being my ring girl?"

She glared at him.

"Thought not."

* * *

"And now. As the special guest Pokemon, the first ever ghost Pokemon to fight in the UGPFC."

The crowd were slightly shocked, but applauded anyway.

"I give you. The Endless Nightmare!!!!!"

Nightmare appeared up through the stage, and bowed to the crowd.

"You suck!!!!!!!" A Typhlosion yelled from the crowd.

Nightmare grinned, before pulling his water pistol out. He then shot the Typhlosion in the face, causing it to squeal in pain.

And for his opponent. A Pokemon that is so violent, it carries its own health warning. I give you Bruteroot!!!!!"

Nightmare looked around, and saw a Venusaur stomping up the aisle, before getting into the arena.

Barney came over to Nightmare's corner.

"Right, so when Bruteroot nails you with the Vine Whip." He said. "You collapse, and don't get back up."

Nightmare nodded.

"Okay." He said, as Bruteroot glared at him.

"I'm going to make a fog sandwich out of you."

Nightmare snorted.

"I'm going to make a flower arrangement out of you."

Steel Wing flapped down, and looked at the two contestants.

"Right, so let's have a nice clean fight, where anything goes." he said.

"Isn't that a contradiction?" Nightmare asked.

"Begin!!!!!!!" Steel yelled, before launching himself into the sky.

Nightmare instantly started to dance around, evading the attacks launched at him with ease.

"Come on!!!!" He taunted. "You couldn't hit a barn door with a Frenzy Plant."

Bruteroot was steadily getting angrier, as Nightmare evaded the attacks with ease.

Then, as the Seed Pokemon looked ready to explode, Nightmare leaped into the air, bringing out his baseball bat.

He landed and smashed the heavy wooden object into Bruteroot's head six or seven times, causing six or seven moans of pain.

Nightmare smirked, as Barney was making several motions at him.

He then unleashed a Shadow Punch that sent the Venusair crashing onto his back.

"Heh heh." Nightmare laughed, as he leaped into the air, charging up a Shadow Kick. He was aiming for a very particular part of the Venusaur's anatomy.

The entire male population of the audience winced in pain, as Bruteroot went purple with pain and fainted.

Steel Wing flapped down.

"One..................." He said, very slowly. "Two......................................."

It continued for about two minutes, until it became apparent that Bruteroot wasn't getting back up.

The second that Steel said Ten, Nightmare instantly vanished through the floor, before Barney could get to him.

* * *

"I can't believe you paid my medical bill." Leaf said, as Nightmare helped him out of the hospital. "Where did you get the money?"

Nightmare laughed.

"Well, you know how they make a huge profit at the UGPFC?" He asked. "Well, after that fight, I instantly went to Barney's office and stole the cash. The best part is that if he tries to have me arrested for it, I'll expose him as a fraud and that the UGPFC is fixed. They'd lose even more money. So, I figured that I'd pay for your bills since I put you in here."

Leaf smiled.

"What's the catch?!!"

"Don't tell anyone I put you in there." Nightmare laughed.

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**So, Nightmare solves a problem he helped to create, and everything is fine again. And in typical Nightmare fashion, it was solved with as much violence as possible.**

**Thanks so much for the reviews, and the characters. They are all appreciated.**

**Next chapter will be about Apollo.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!!**


	12. When Apollo Got Depressed

Chapter Twelve. When Apollo Got Depressed.

* * *

"Now listen here, ya dumb bastards!!!!!!!" Apollo yelled. "If you don't start getting paid by the clients, I'm going to slink the entire bunch of ya dumb wankers out onto the bloody street and see how long you last. You're all bastard useless and I hate every single one of you with a flaming passion. You make me want to stick my arm down my beak. But, they aren't long enough, so I have to induce vomiting by thinking about the lack of frickin' work rate that ya bastards don't have. Now, get of ya asses and do the job!!!!"

Nightmare, Leaf and Duskla looked at each other, before Nightmare put his hand up.

"So, what's your point?" He asked.

* * *

_Who else but Nightmare?_

_He's the very best, Nightmare!!!!_

_He's a wise cracking, violent Pokemon._

_Nightmare!!!!!_

_Who else but Nightmare!!!!!!_

_You never quite know what he's going to do next!!!!_

_Nightmare!!!!_

_Oh, and there's Duskla._

_And Leaf._

_And Apollo._

_And Belia._

_And Alaworth._

_And Tandy._

_And Dr. Krabbleberg._

_But, most of all!!!!!!_

_Yeah, there's Nightmare!!!!!!_

* * *

Apollo groaned, as he wandered into his office.

"I hate this job sometimes." He muttered, leaning into the wall.

Duskla, Leaf and Belia came in.

"What do ya three bastards want?!!!" Apollo asked.

Duskla smiled.

"Well, you might be an abusive enforcer only hired by Alaworth to make sure that we actually do some work." She said. "But, we do worry about you."

"Ya not gettin' a pay rise!!!!" Apollo groaned, as he rubbed his head. "Now, clear off because my heard is sorer than a Trapinch whose been told he can't bite."

"Apollo, you look depressed." Belia remarked.

"Get the hell out!!!!" Apollo yelled, Razor Leafing them out of his office.

* * *

"Good news everyone!!!!!" Professor Alaworth said, as he wandered into the living room. "I've got a delivery for you to make to...."

"Apollo looks badly depressed." Duskla remarked.

"So?!!!" Alaworth demanded. "The fool will just have to get over it!!!!"

Tandy came into the room, coughing.

"Damnit Tandy!!!!" Alaworth yelled. "Will you please get a cough sweet."

"Apollo's about to jump off the roof." Tandy said.

Nightmare burst out laughing.

"This is something I have to see." He remarked.

* * *

"I'M GONNA JUMP, YA BASTARDS!!!!!!!" Apollo shouted, looking down at them.

"Apollo, get down here!!!!!" Alaworth bellowed.

"Why, what's the bloody point?!!!!" Apollo asked. "Nobody likes me. I hate my family. I hate my co-workers, no offense, and I hate my life!!!!"

Nightmare stepped forward.

"Don't worry." He whispered. "I'll try to get him to change his mind."

Leaf and Duskla groaned, as Nightmare started to speak.

"Apollo!!!!" He called. "Look, I think I speak for everyone here, when I say JUMP!!!!!!!! Just do it. What are you, chicken?!!!!"

Nightmare floated up into the air, until he was face to face with Apollo.

"Go and do it!!!!!" He said. "If you have the grapes!!!!!"

He continued to glare at Apollo.

"Come on!!!!!!!!"

Apollo groaned, before stepping back onto the roof and going through the window.

"I don't believe it!!!!!" Duskla said, as she watched the scenes on the roof, from the pavement.

* * *

"Apollo, you coward!!!!!" Alaworth snapped. "How dare you threaten to jump off my roof!!!!"

"Professor!!!!!" Belia said. "I think he needs some compassion."

"Compassion my ass." Alaworth replied. "You need to pull yourself together. I'm giving you the night off."

Apollo groaned, as he went to leave the room.

Alaworth then followed him out.

Duskla, Leaf and Nightmare looked at each other and grinned.

"I think there's only one thing to do." Duskla said. "With Apollo out of the way, we can invite our friends around and have Game Night."

"Game Night?" Nightmare asked.

Leaf smiled.

"Basically, we ingest a lot of alcohol and gamble."

"Aha." Nightmare said. "I'm listening."

"I just explained it." Leaf replied.

"I'm interested." Nightmare laughed.

* * *

"Okay." Nightmare said, carrying a crate of alcohol. "There's the booze."

He dropped the crate on the table, and looked at Duskla who was shuffling a pack of cards.

"And there are the cards." Duskla said. "I just sent Leaf to get some food."

Leaf came in, balancing a pair of boxes on his head, followed by Belia.

"Right, so are we gambling with real money, or poker chips?" Nightmare asked.

"Real money."

Dr. Krabbleberg wandered in.

"I hear about money, I do." He said. "Count me in, you must."

"Do you have an invite?" Nightmare asked.

Krabbleberg shook his head.

"With no invite, no game." Nightmare said, picking Dr. Krabbleberg up. "Where would you like to land?"

Belia looked over.

"Myst should be here soon." She said. "She likes Black Persian almost as much as you, Nightmare. And let him play. It's a good idea to play with, ahem, chumps."

Nightmare dropped Dr. Krabbleberg to the ground.  
"I see your point." He remarked.

* * *

"What's wrong?" The Mr. Mime, behind the bar, asked, as Apollo downed a White Raichu Vodka.

"Ah, I hate me bastard life." Apollo said. "So, I've got the night off to try and clear my head."

Mr. Mime smiled.

"Well, you want to lay off that stuff then." He commented.

Apollo looked up, as a bottle of Blue Wailord was passed over to him.

"This is really good for inducing hangovers, partial blindness and in some cases, horrible death." The Mr. Mime continued. "Slip me twenty, and I'll slip you the bottle."

Apollo sighed, before doing so.

"I'll take that risk." He said.

"Enjoy." Mr. Mime said, before vanishing down the room.

Apollo opened the bottle and took a swing....

* * *

"Evening!!!!" An Espeon said, as she came in.

"Pokemon, this is Mystic." Belia explained, as Leaf, Nightmare and Dr. Krabbleberg looked over.

"Hey." Everyone apart from Nightmare called, as Duskla came in.

"Hey, Myst." Duskla called.

"Is anyone else coming?" Leaf asked.

"I think Tandy was having a bath." Dr. Krabbleberg remarked.

"Makes a change from me rubbing him down." Duskla said, as she sat down. "Okay, so we start by playing cards and drinking what Nightmare managed to get. Then, we go onto other stuff when we're drunk enough to think it's a good idea."

"That's the way I like it." Nightmare said.

"Maybe we can do karaoke!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg exclaimed.

"Or we can do something less stupid." Myst remarked.

"Like what?" Leaf asked.

"Dance around fire and think about how lucky we are to get burned."

Nightmare looked at her.

"Okay." He said. "Maybe you can do that, while we watch."

* * *

"Wait for it." Nightmare whispered, gripping something under the table.

"Aha!!!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg exclaimed. "Hit me!!!!"  
Nightmare leaped up, and smashed his baseball bat into the face of the Krabby.

"Okay!!!!" He shouted. "Patch that up, Doctor!!!!!"  
Myst started to laugh, as Dr. Krabbleberg groaned.

"Thank you." Nightmare said. "Hold your applause. I'm here all week."

She looked at him.

"I'm not laughing at you." Myst said. "I'm laughing at that pink Butterfree that looks lost."

Leaf leaned over to Belia.

"Is she okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." Belia said. "But, earlier in life, she got badly drunk on Black Persian Beer, and had too much Morning Sun. It pretty much makes her hallucinate repeatedly. And also brought out the zany side of her personality. But, she's not dangerous."

* * *

"Right." Duskla said. "Who feels drunk enough to go out onto the street, and throw bottles at that filthy old Raticate who lives over the road."

"I'll do it!!!!!!" Leaf said. "But, I don't have arms."

"You failed!!!!!!" Belia exclaimed. "You have to do something really stupid."

Nightmare burst out laughing.

"I dare you to tongue kiss Dr. Krabbleberg." He said.

"Err..... No." Leaf replied.

Myst looked up.

"What is PokeRus?" She asked.

"I don't know." Belia replied. "What is PokeRus?"

Myst shrugged.

"Do any of us really know what PokeRus is?"

* * *

"Ready!!!" Leaf yelled. "Go!!!!!"

Nightmare and Duskla looked at each other, before charging across the sky in front of the countless flying Pokemon who were taking Pokemon home, or somewhere else.

"Go go go go go!!!!!" Belia and Myst yelled, as the two ghosts evaded the Pokemon.

"Now cause someone some pain!!!!!" Belia shouted.

Nightmare spun around and Shadow Balled a Xatu, knocking it out of the sky.

"Heh heh." Nightmare laughed.

* * *

The next morning.

Apollo slowly opened his eyes and looked around. His head was killing him.

"Owww!!!!" He moaned. "But, at least I feel less depressed."

He sat up, and realised that he was sat in a dumpster.

"Oh."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**All's well that ends well.**

**Thanks to JigglypuffsPillow for sending in Myst.**

**Thanks for the reviews!!!! They are appreciated.**

**And it now has it's own theme song. Albeit, not a very great one.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!! Please!!!**


	13. A Krabby In Love

Chapter Thirteen. A Krabby In Love.

* * *

"Good news everyone." Professor Alaworth said, as he walked into the room with the TV, only to find it empty.

"Huh, where is...."  
He was just wondering where everyone was, when Dr. Krabbleberg burst through the door, wielding his pincers in a dangerous fashion.

"EVERYONE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!" The Krabby yelled, as he closed his pincers around Professor Alaworth's throat.

* * *

_Who else but Nightmare?_

_He's the very best, Nightmare!!!!_

_He's a wise cracking, violent Pokemon._

_Nightmare!!!!!_

_Who else but Nightmare!!!!!!_

_You never quite know what he's going to do next!!!!_

_Nightmare!!!!_

_Oh, and there's Duskla._

_And Leaf._

_And Apollo._

_And Belia._

_And Alaworth._

_And Tandy._

_And Dr. Krabbleberg._

_But, most of all!!!!!!_

_Yeah, there's Nightmare!!!!!!_

* * *

As the Alakazam gasped for breath, Nightmare rushed in, wielding a chair. He then whacked Dr. Krabbleberg with it, knocking him out cold.

"My Arceus!!!!" Nightmare exclaimed. "I just saved your life. Where's my reward?"

Alaworth sat up.

"Your reward." He said. "Very well. I give you the thanks from the bottom of my heart."

"Ah nuts." Nightmare remarked. "Anything of value."

Professor Alaworth stroked his chin.

"Hmm." He said. "I do have a pearl that can turn water into pure Black Persian Beer. But I can't imagine that you'd want that."

Nightmare groaned, as Alaworth left the room.

As he left through one door, Duskla and Leaf came in.

"Don't worry." Nightmare said. "I managed to stop the mad doctor from killing the Professor. And then the fool refused to reward me."

"I wonder why Dr. Krabbleberg has suddenly started to act like a horny little freak." Duskla remarked. "And more importantly, how can we stop it?"

Leaf and Nightmare shrugged.

"Well, I went for the tried and tested method of a chair to the face." Nightmare said. "But, that didn't do anything, except knock him out cold. Shame, I was kinda hoping that it'd kill him."

"We need to find out what's wrong with him." Leaf remarked. "He'd do the same for us."

"No, he wouldn't." Nightmare said. "He'd walk around bitching about his lack of cash, and then leave us to die."

"Oh, get some faith in him." Duskla remarked.

"Do you mind if I don't?" Nightmare said, opening a bottle. "Anyway, I'm going to go and work out how to steal that pearl from the Professor that turns water into beer. So, if you can't find out what's wrong with the doctor, I'll drop him off the roof later. That should cure him."

* * *

"But, I don't know what I did wrong." Dr. Krabbleberg said. "It's just...."  
He paused.

"Don't be shy." Belia remarked. "You're among friends. No matter how sick or gross it is."

"Well." Dr. Krabbleberg continued. "It's that time of the year when my species and others like it need to... Reproduce."  
"Eeeeuuwww!!!!!!!" Belia exclaimed. "I don't need that image in my head of a bunch of Krabby...."

"Not only Krabby." Dr. Krabbleberg interrupted. "Kingler, Corphish and Crawdaunt. All meeting at the Claw Rock."

* * *

"That's gross." Leaf remarked, as Belia and Dr. Krabbleberg explained what the situation was.

"Yeah, that was my reaction." Belia said.

"Basically, all the fluids within my system are causing me to act violently." Dr. Krabbleberg said. "I'm a victim of my biology. Wait, does that stand up in court? Anyway, if I don't get to Claw Rock and expel it into the waters, then I will die, because it's extremely poisonous."

"Wait just a second." Duskla said. "Can't you expel it into the ocean?"

Dr. Krabbleberg glared at her.

"No, no no!!!!!" He yelled. "If I expel it into the ocean, then I might die in the process."

Nightmare looked up, as he finished dipping the pearl that he had swiped into the water.

"I don't think this really does that." He said, throwing it against the wall, and watching it shatter. He looked at Dr. Krabbleberg.

"So, if you expel it into the ocean, you might die?" He asked. "Who wants to go to the beach?"

Professor Alaworth walked in.

"Good news everyone." He said. "I was going to tell you this earlier before I was attacked by Dr. Krabbleberg, but you've got to take a crate of dead Seaking to Claw Rock."

"Aww damn." Nightmare said, as Duskla looked around.

"This is perfect." She said. "We can deliver the crate, and Dr. Krabbleberg can have the..."

She looked at Nightmare.

"What phrase am I thinking of?" She asked.

"Jack off?" Nightmare asked.

She nodded.

"And Dr. Krabbleberg can have the jack off of all jack offs in the water around Claw Rock."

"Now, I really do feel sick." Belia said.

Nightmare handed her the glass of water, watching as she swallowed it. She then spat it out, a look of disgust on her face.

"That tastes like someone dipped a pearl like object in it."

Professor Alaworth looked up.

"Good news everyone." He said. "I invented a pearl that can make water taste like poisonous crap. It increases it's value immensely."

Nightmare looked at the shattered pearl.

"Aww crap!!!!"

* * *

"Claw Rock!!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg exclaimed, as he leaped off Tandy's back. "I'm home."

Nightmare nudged Leaf.  
"Shall we leave him behind?" He asked.

Leaf laughed.

"I don't think Duskla would let us." He said. "So, unfortunately...."

Tandy landed, and Nightmare, Leaf and Duskla dismounted.

Duskla then removed the crate from under Tandy, and handed it to Nightmare and Leaf to carry.

"Now, Tandy." She said. "Wait right here."

"Okay dokey."

* * *

"Right." Duskla remarked, as they dropped the crate of dead Seaking outside the address they were supposed to. "Now that we've done that, shall we go and find Dr. Krabbleberg?"

Nightmare sighed.

"Haven't we anything better to do?" He asked.

Duskla glared at him, as she walked away.

* * *

"Oh my Arceus." Nightmare laughed, as they arrived at the beach.

They saw Dr. Krabbleberg laid on his side, in tremendous pain, as several other Krabby laughed at him.

"Wow." Leaf remarked. "They must dislike him as much as we do."

A Corphish scuttled over to them.

"No outsiders!!!!!" The Ruffian Pokemon demanded.

Nightmare smirked.

"He's cute, isn't he?" He remarked.

"I am Captain Corph of the Claw Royal Guard, and I am ordering you to...."

He didn't get his chance to finish his sentance, as Nightmare stamped on him.

"Was that really neccesary?" Duskla asked, as they went to Dr. Krabbleberg's side.

"Of course." Nightmare said. "I ain't gettin' pushed around by no Corphish."

"Are you okay, doc?" Leaf asked.

"Not really." Dr. Krabbleberg groaned. "I was about to put the moves on a Kingler, I was, when that Corphish came up, claimed her for his own. I wasn't going to let that happen, I wasn't, so I squared up to him, I did, and he attacked me, he did."

Nightmare looked around at where the Corphish was getting back up, slowly.

"Please, Nightmare." Dr. Krabbleberg said. "I implore you, I do. Can you break his claws and legs so that he can't hurt me, and I can claim the Kingler?"

Nightmare sighed, before looking at Dr. Krabbleberg.

"Well, I would love to help." He replied.

Leaf snorted, earning a glare from Nightmare.

"But, if you really want to win the heart of that Kingler, then you have to go and defeat that Corphish on your own. Chicks love it when you fight over them." Nightmare said. "You'll appreciate her a whole lot more after it."

Duskla looked up.

"What he's saying is incredibly sexist and stereotypical." She said. "But, he also has a point."

"Thank you!!!" Nightmare replied, picking Dr. Krabbleberg up. "Now, get in there and kick that Corphish's ass."

He threw the Krabby at the Corphish, and waited for the scrap to begin.

"You think that'll work?" Leaf asked.

Nightmare snorted.

"Have you seen the size of that Corphish?" He asked. "He's gonna get his ass handed to him on a plate."

* * *

"Oww!!!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg exclaimed, as Tandy swerved in the air to avoid hitting a Staraptor.

"Wanker!!!!!" Tandy yelled. "Watch where you're flying!!!"

"My wounds, my wounds!!!!!" Dr. Krabbleberg exclaimed. "I'm in so much pain."

"But, at least you aren't going to explode." Nightmare pointed out. "Thanks to my intervention."

Dr. Krabbleberg glared at him.

"You waited until that Corphish beat me senseless, and I was bleeding all over." He said. "Then, you threw me in the salt water, you did. That really stung, it did."

"Meh, what are you going to do?" Nightmare asked. "Anyway, you were beaten up by a Corphish. That's humiliating enough for one day."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**Just ignore the plot holes.**

**Does anyone else think that Nightmare doesn't like the good Dr. Krabbleberg? Although, I don't know what would give that impression.**

**Thanks for the reviews!!!!!! They are appreciated.**

**And yes, there is a plot. But it's a very flimsy plot. **

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!!! Please!!!!**


	14. The League Of Ghosts Part One

Chapter Fourteen. The League Of Ghosts. Part One.

* * *

"So...." Nightmare remarked. "What is the point of this?"

Duskla sighed.

"This place is a haven for ghost Pokemon." She said. "If you want to go and meet like minded Pokemon, that's where you go. Also, you can come if you fancy a quick roll in the hay."

"Wow, are female ghost Pokemon always that loose in the future?" Nightmare asked.

"Mostly." Duskla said.

"Are you?" Nightmare asked. "Looser than a bottle cap in a drain?"

She Shadow Punched him, knocking him to the ground.

"I guess not." Nightmare groaned.

* * *

_Who else but Nightmare?_

_He's the very best, Nightmare!!!!_

_He's a wise cracking, violent Pokemon._

_Nightmare!!!!!_

_Who else but Nightmare!!!!!!_

_You never quite know what he's going to do next!!!!_

_Nightmare!!!!_

_Oh, and there's Duskla._

_And Leaf._

_And Apollo._

_And Belia._

_And Alaworth._

_And Tandy._

_And Dr. Krabbleberg._

_But, most of all!!!!!!_

_Yeah, there's Nightmare!!!!!!_

* * *

"Well, I was always told that it was cool to join cults." Nightmare muttered.

"I'm sorry, sir." The Froslass on the door said. "This is not a cult."

"What about that sign on the door?" Nightmare asked. "The one that says the Cult of Eternal Darkness?"

"That was from the previous group to use the building." The Froslass explained.

"But, there's a time next to it." Nightmare said. "It almost matches the time perfectly."

"THIS IS NOT A FRICKIN' CULT. THIS IS THE LEAGUE OF GHOSTS. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, YOU STUPID GENGAR."

* * *

"So, I said to the mayor..." A Dusknoir was saying, before the Froslass came crashing through the door, and landed in a heap at their feet.

"My bones!!!!!" Froslass exclaimed.

"You don't have bones." The Spiritomb remarked.

"That's how much it hurts." Froslass yelled, before Nightmare opened the door and made a point of stamping on the Froslass.

"Woah." A Gastly remarked. "That guy is frickin' awesome!!!!"

"Thank you." Nightmare said, as Duskla followed him inside, shaking her head.

He walked over to the Gastly.

"You know, you remind me of me when I was younger." Nightmare said, reaching into his stomach and pulling out some money. "Here, have some money."

"Gee, thanks." The Gastly said, before floating away.

"Nightmare, I'm impressed." Duskla remarked. "You gave that strange Gastly you know nothing about some money."

"I thought that was Gastlo?" Nightmare said. "You know, that singer who wants to save the planet from Pokemon who want to destroy it, by drinking beer and throwing the bottles in the river. Hold on!!!!!!"

He chased after Gastly.

"Give me that money back, you son of a Gengar!!!!!!"

Duskla rolled her eye, before looking around.

"Duskla." The Spiritomb remarked. "Do you know that Gengar?"

"Yeah, he works with me." Duskla said.

The Spiritomb had an impassive look on his face, but inside he was laughing.

* * *

Nightmare jogged in, holding the money. He was dripping wet.

"What happened to you?" Duskla asked.

"I chased that Gastly across half the City." Nightmare panted. "But, it was worth it to get my five dollars back."

Duskla faceplanted, before a pair of Sableye strode over.

"Mr. Nightmare?" They asked.

"That's me." Nightmare replied. "What can I....?"

"The leader would like to see you." The Sableye said.

"Nah, I was going to have a beer." Nightmare said.

"Come with us, or we will be forced to use deadly for...."

Nightmare spun around and Toxic Jabbed one of them.

"If the leader wants to see me, then tell him to get his arse out here." The Gas Pokemon snapped, before heading over to the bar.

Duskla reluctantly followed him.

"You do realise that if they want to talk to you, they will get you in there." She said. "You might as well get in there."

"If they want to talk to me." Nightmare said. "They know where I am."

* * *

He got to the bar, and looked at the Duskull behind it.

"Hi, I'd like a....."

"I'm sorry." The Duskull replied. "I've just been given orders not to serve you until you go to speak to the leader."

Nightmare glared at him.

"Either you serve me, or I bash your head over the bar, bring you back to life and do it again." He said.

"I'm sorry, but nothing you can do is more painful than what the leader will do to me if I serve you."

"Yeah, but the leader isn't here." Nightmare said. "And I am. So, who are you more afraid of. The Leader, or me?"

"The leader." Duskull replied. "He eats Mime Jr's for breakfast."

Nightmare suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and a gruff voice in his ear.

"If you would like to have a quick word with the leader, we can all go in the room in the back and have a beer."

Nightmare looked around, and saw a pair of Dusknoir wearing bow ties.

"Well, you said the magic word." He said. "Lead on."

* * *

Nightmare followed the Gripper Pokemon into the room, behind the curtain at the far end of the room.

"So, what's the leader like?" Nightmare asked.

"Well, he's... Great." One of the Dusknoir replied.

"Yeah, excellent." The other said.

Nightmare looked over, and saw another bar.

"Praise Arceus, praise the sweet Giratina!!!!" He shouted, running over to the bar.

He saw a Misdreavous behind the bar.

"Hey, love!!!!" Nightmare yelled. "Give me six bottles of your finest Black Persian Beer, shaken, not spilt."

The two Dusknoir groaned, as they floated over and pulled him away.

"Hey, let me go, ya bastards!!!!!" Nightmare shouted, before looking at the bar. "Hold those beers for me!!!!!!"

* * *

The two of them deposited him in a room, which contained a Haunter, a Mismagius, a Drifblim, a Shedinja, a Banette, the two Sableye who had tried to bring him in earlier. They were flanking a Spiritomb, who was the one who had been talking to the Dusknoir earlier in the day. He had the Dusknoir floating next to him. There was also a Froslass and a Rotom.

"Welcome, Nightmare." The Spiritomb said. "We've been expecting you."

Nightmare glared at him.

"What is so important that you have to drag me away from the bar?" He asked.

The Spiritomb groaned.

"Impulsive." He said. "I suppose that I should begin to explain."

"That's right." Nightmare snapped. "You should."

Spiritomb got up, and looked around.

"Okay." He said. "My name is Spirit the third. I am the third leader of the prestigious league of ghosts."

Nightmare wasn't looking convinced.

"On the surface, we are a safe haven for ghosts." Spirit continued. "However, below the surface, we have a more secret purpose. A purpose which only the few in this room know about."

Nightmare yawned.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said. "I thought you were going to get to the point at some time today."

Spirit sighed.

"Okay." The Spiritomb replied. "Here is why we have called you here."

To be continued.....

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**So, the season finale of The Stuff Of Nightmares. Or, the equivalent of.**

**What does the cult want with Nightmare? And more importantly, will they let him get a beer before he implodes. Or kills someone.**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews!!!!! They are all appreciated.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!!**


	15. The League Of Ghosts Part Two

Chapter Fifteen. The League Of Ghosts. Part Two.

* * *

"This better be good." Nightmare muttered, as the Dusknoir floated away, and returned with a shiny Gastly.

"This is a Pokemon that will save the League of Ghosts." Spirit said, calmly. "Legend has it that this Pokemon will grow up and lead the ghosts to victory over their fleshy oppressors. However, because of this, those very Pokemon will try to kill him."

"So, why do you need me?" Nightmare asked.

Spirit sighed.

"We need you, to lend us your strength, power and charisma." He said. "We need you and Duskla to take this child to a safe place. To the abandoned alleys of the Moon City, where he can grow up away from the dark Pokemon."

"Can I get a Black Persian Beer first?" Nightmare asked.

"I'm sorry, but for the sake of your mental health, you musn't drink. It makes you lose your focus and slows your reactions."

Nightmare not function well beer without." Nightmare said, groaning.

* * *

_Who else but Nightmare?_

_He's the very best, Nightmare!!!!_

_He's a wise cracking, violent Pokemon._

_Nightmare!!!!!_

_Who else but Nightmare!!!!!!_

_You never quite know what he's going to do next!!!!_

_Nightmare!!!!_

_Oh, and there's Duskla._

_And Leaf._

_And Apollo._

_And Belia._

_And Alaworth._

_And Tandy._

_And Dr. Krabbleberg._

_But, most of all!!!!!!_

_Yeah, there's Nightmare!!!!!!_

* * *

"Come on, we're leaving." Nightmare said, as he walked past Duskla.

"Wait, what?" She asked. "How come?"

"They're frickin' crazy." Nightmare said, as he stormed back and dragged her towards the door. "They have some frickin' stupid idea about destroying the entire living population of Pokemon by asking me to send a Gastly to Moon City."

"I'd have thought that'd have been your bag." Duskla remarked. "Killing living things."

"Normally, I'd have joined up in a heartbeat." Nightmare said. "However, the fact that they wanted me to remain sober throughout was the thing that killed it. I refuse to do so, on the grounds that it might screw up my system."

"You're probably the only Pokemon I know who is worried about how the lack of alcohol will screw them up." Duskla remarked, dryly. "And the Dusknoir are coming to drag you back. If they catch you, they'll throw you into a bone dry tank for six days so you have absolutely nothing in your system. Then, they'll make you do it. But, you'll be guarded so that you can't make a break for it."

"Yeah, screw that for a piece of toast." Nightmare said. "I'm going to hide out at the office for a few days."

"Oh great idea." Duskla remarked. "Go to the place where you work. They'll never look for you there."

Nightmare made to leave.

"Hey, Nightmare." Duskla called. "Clean out my locker and I might not tell them where you went."

Nightmare groaned.

"You'd sell out one of your co-workers?" He asked.

"So would you." Duskla countered.

Nightmare rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but I'm Nightmare." He replied. "Lord of all that is evil. You're Duskla. You have one eye and considering that female Dusclops' are usually foul tempered and butch, you're... Kinda cute."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh thanks." Duskla said. "Nice to know that you think that."

"No problem." Nightmare replied. "Okay, I have to run."

* * *

He charged into the Rescue Express building, and locked the door.

"You cannot escape us."

Nightmare spun around, and saw Spirit sat in the middle of the room, waiting for him.

"And, also." Spirit remarked. "Why lock the door? We're ghosts. We can pass through them."

"Yeah, but you aren't a pure ghost." Nightmare commented.

"Neither are you." Spirit shot back.

"Leave me alone." Nightmare said, angrily.

"I am not going to leave you alone." Spirit replied. "Either you help us out, or I haunt you for the rest of your eternal life."

"How about I kick your ass?" Nightmare asked.

"You could not." Spirit said. "I am no ordinary Spiritomb. I have the ability of a Shedinja. I am protected by Wonder Guard. If you feel that you could attack me, then you are sadly mistaken."

Nightmare exhaled sharply.

"Shadow Kick!!!!!" He yelled, charging forward.

He was stunned, as his attack crashed into Spirit's face, but the expression didn't change. It was true. Spirit felt no pain from the attack.

"This is a battle you cannot hope to win." Spirit said, calmly.

Nightmare paused, before smirking.

"Yeah, try this." He said, coughing up a Toxic attack.

Spirit roared in anger, as the poison seeped into his skin.

"I'm out of here!!!" Nightmare yelled, as he leaped through the door.

* * *

He saw Duskla stood waiting for him on the other side.

"Why do you fight, Nightmare?" She asked. "They seem to think that you are the one who will escort this shiny Gastly through the desert of despair to Moon City."

"Yeah, I don't have a problem with that." Nightmare replied. "It's the sobriety that bothers me."

"Just tell Spirit that you'll do it. Then sneak a six pack over there with you."

Nightmare sighed.

"Fine okay."

* * *

"I don't see why I had to come." Duskla muttered, as the Gastly floated alongside her.

"You're the one who got me involved in it." Nightmare replied. "You have to carry the can if we screw up."

* * *

"All our hope now rests upon that Gengar, that Dusclops and that Gastly." Spirit said, as he looked across the room of the League of Ghosts. "Soon, we will either gain something, or lose everything."

As he spoke, a Duskull hurried into the room.

"They're here!!!!" She exclaimed.

Spirit sighed.

"Well, gentlemen." He said. "It has been a very happy time that we have shared together. Which is why it pains me to say goodbye."

As Tyrel, leader of the Tyranitars of Omnicron City strode into the room, he found all the ghosts in there dead. Apart from Spirit.

"Where is the Gastly?" Tyrel asked.

"I will never tell you." Spirit replied.

"You will not destroy the world of all living things." Tyrel said.

"Try and stop me!!!!" Spirit shouted. "You are too late!!!!! Soon, the shiny Gastly will be hidden in the past where nobody can get to it."

"We will stop it before then."

"Then, you might as well stop telling me that and get to it." Spirit laughed.

"Raig, Stone!!!" Tyrel called, as another pair of Tyranitar came in. "Take him down."

* * *

"We're here!!!" Nightmare said, as they arrived in Moon City.

"Thanks Arceus." Duskla muttered. "Now, where do we go?"

The Gastly looked around.

"Over there!!!!" It called.

Nightmare and Duskla chased after the Gastly, as they arrived in an alley.

"There it is." Duskla shouted. "There's the time portal that Spirit told us about."

"Aparently Dialga has an interest in destroying all living things as well." Nightmare muttered.

"When can we go?" The shiny Gastly asked.

"Hey, Gastly." Nightmare called. "What's your name?"

"Nightmare." The Gastly replied.

Nightmare was slightly confused, as he looked around the alley.

And then it hit him.

"No way!!!!" He exclaimed.

"What is it?" Duskla asked.

Nightmare looked at her.

"I was born in this alley." He said. "That's a shiny Gastly called Nightmare. That can't be a coincidence."

Duskla was stunned.

"So, you mean....?"

Nightmare nodded.

"That Gastly is me in the past." He said. "I'm protecting myself."

Duskla yelled in pain, as a Dark Pulse whistled across the alley and hit her. The attack punched a hole in her stomach.

"No!!!" Nightmare shouted, spinning around to see a Tyranitar stood at the edge of the alley.

"So, you're the one and the same." He remarked, looking at the two Nightmares. "I am Tyrel and I am going to ensure that you don't destroy all living things."

Nightmare sighed, as he looked at the Gastly, known as Nightmare.

"Go and hide." He said. "I'm going to stop him. If it looks like I'm going to lose, head for the portal."

Gastly nodded, going to hide behind some bins.

"You cannot protect him, or yourself." Tyrel remarked.

"Let's find out!!!" Nightmare shouted. "Shadow Kick!!!!"

He went in with the attack, smashing his foot into the face of Tyrel. The Tyranitar didn't even flinch.

"Okay!!!!" Nightmare shouted. "I've had it with Pokemon not been hurt by my Shadow Kick!!!! Try a Lick."

He ran his tongue across Tyrel's body, causing the Armour Pokemon to grimace in pain.

Nightmare then launched a series of Toxic Jabs, forcing him back.

Tyrel roared, as Nightmare continued the assault, before unleashing another Shadow Kick.

Tyrel retaliated by using a Crunch on Nightmare's foot, causing the Gas Pokemon to yell out in pain.

"Why do you fight, Gengar?" Tyrel asked.

"I AM NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nightmare shouted, as he leaped up and landed another set of Toxic Jabs. "Now, you can forget about it. We're going back to the past, where we'll never trouble you again."

Nightmare walked over to where Duskla was laid, clearly in pain.

"Nightmare!!" She said. "I've.... I'm about to fade away into nothing."

"No, come on!!!" Nightmare insisted. "You can survive this."

"I don't want to." Duskla said, a tear running from her eye. "If you leave, then I'll have nothing. You were the only reason I came into Rescue Express."

"What are you saying?" Nightmare asked.

"I love you!!!!!" Duskla said, sadly.

Nightmare grinned.

"Of course you do." He replied. "I'm Nightmare."

She managed a weak grin, before fading away into nothing.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nightmare shouted.

"I'm sorry." Tyrel said.

"Yeah, shove your apology." Nightmare replied, as the shiny Gastly appeared from hiding. "Come on. We're going back to the past. I'm going to put you with a nice family of Gastly and Haunter and you'll be fine."

Nightmare stepped through the portal, followed by his younger self.

* * *

"Take good care of him." Nightmare said.

The other two Gengar nodded, as Nightmare looked at his younger self, already being greeted by another Gastly. One that looked familiar.

"We will." The female Gengar replied.

"Excuse me." Nightmare said. "Is the name of that Gastly there, Casper?"

The male Gengar nodded.

"Just give me a second." Nightmare said, as he went over to Casper.

"Hi, Casper." Nightmare said. "I just want to tell you that if you ever think of bullying that Gastly there..."

He launched a Shadow Kick into Casper's face, instantly causing him to faint.

"That's what will happen."

Nightmare walked past the stunned parents, smiling.

"I feel better now." He said, walking back into the time portal.

* * *

As he left it, he was in a familiar place.

Three Pokemon trainers where he had left them.

One of them looked up, as did his Pikachu.

"Nightmare?" Ash asked. "Where have you been?"

"I don't know!!!!" Nightmare replied.

* * *

**The End.**

**Author's Notes.**

**Awww, it's over.**

**Oh well.**

**Duskla dies. Nightmare was assigned to protect his past self, meaning.... What is going on!!!!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews!!!! They are all welcome.**

**It might be over. But, if you want to see it return, then put it on a review, and I might bring it back at some point.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Don't forget to review!!!!! Please!!!**


	16. Part Two The Great Coffee Caper

Chapter Sixteen. The Great Coffee Caper.

* * *

Walking out into the main offices of the Rescue Express building, the crew looked out and spoke to an invisible audience.

"Greetings," Professor Alaworth said. "Unbelievably, this story has been granted an extended lease of life."

"It has?" Leaf asked. "Yippeee! Now people can read about our adventures again."

"Why would they want to do that?" Nightmare asked. "I think it was resolved pretty well last time."  
"No it wasn't," Duskla said. "I died."

"Quiet woman!" the Gengar said. "I said it was resolved well."

"It's good, I think," Belia added. "I mean just think of all the other adventures we could have been having."

"Ah, what's the absolute worst that could happen about us being brought back?" Dr Krabbleberg asked. "It's not like it could get any worse for us it could."

"Quiet, scab!" Apollo said, hitting him with a newspaper. "Anyway, all ya bastards out there best get it into your head that we're back. And we're not going anywhere just yet!"

"Enjoy the show!" Tandy trilled.

* * *

_Last time on The Stuff of Nightmares…_

_Nightmare, a shiny Gengar brought to the future, a world inhabited solely by Pokémon where he and a Shaymin went to join a rescue team known as Rescue Express. Along with their co-workers, they went on many wacky adventures until Nightmare ended up sent on a mission by the mysterious League of Ghosts, a mission to escort a younger version of himself back to the past so that he would kill all humans. The death of his friend Duskla, who told him she loved him before dying, sent him back to where he had been before the future…_

But…

Screaming like a girl, Nightmare jerked up in his bed, the sound reverberating all the way around the small room. Swiping out, he grabbed up the bottle of Black Persian Beer next to him and hurled it against the wall.

"Somethin' troubling you?" Leaf muttered from where he was sleeping by the door. "Keep it down, sleeping."

"Duskla!" Nightmare yelled, jumping up and down on the bed. "Where is she? I must have her! She said she loved me! She must be part of me and we must do the freaky act of love that only ghost Pokémon can manage because we're so permeable."

He then started to sing in a loud opera-style baritone.

"Oh we're so permeable, we can get inside each other's skin and wriggle around a bit, yes it's great clean fun living. But then we discovered we were doing it wrong. Apart from that one Misdreavous one time, I really haven't had a lot of luck. Female ghosts are all bitches. They wouldn't put out if you got them drunk!"

"Love it," Leaf muttered. "You should make a CD. And then you can FO and SU."

"Huh?"

_Who else but Nightmare?_

_He's the very best, Nightmare!_

_He's a wise cracking, violent Pokemon._

_Nightmare!_

_Who else but Nightmare!_

_You never quite know what he's going to do next!_

_Nightmare!_

_Oh, and there's Duskla._

_And Leaf._

_And Apollo._

_And Belia._

_And Alaworth._

_And Tandy._

_And Dr. Krabbleberg._

_And Mystic._

_But, most of all!_

_Yeah, there's Nightmare!_

* * *

At Rescue Express…

"Man, that was some party," Belia said, the Buizel stretched out over the couch, a cold flannel resting across her eyes. "I still can't feel my tails."

"Tails, huh?" Leaf asked. "Both of them?"

He grinned at her. "So er… you ever use your tails for anything other than swimming? Or balancing? Or sucking on when you're laid out on the couch."

"You really want to know?" Belia groaned.

"Oh she does," Mystic said from where she sat at the table, the Espeon resting her head on the wood. "I've seen things man."

"Yeah," Nightmare muttered. "Happy little Pidgeys going tweet tweet tweet before exploding into fireworks. That's what you've seen."

The Espeon couldn't think of anything to say in response. "Hey… Shut up."

"Some party though," Belia repeated. "Can't believe we partied all the way through the new year. Didn't think Apollo and Alaworth would pay for us to do that."

"They were paying for that party?" Nightmare asked. "I thought it was just put on spontaneously. If I'd have known that, I'd have hired that troupe of dancing female Dusclops to provide entertainment. And then they could have danced for us."

"Yeah, I don't think Duskla would have been impressed," Leaf said. "You did that, she might just hit you."

"Duskla's still alive?" Nightmare asked. "Cool. I mean… Wait, that was a dream where she died?"

The door opened up and Duskla and Apollo walked in, just in time for them to hear what Nightmare had said.

"You dreamed I died?" the Dusclops asked in shock. "Why would you do that? Am I really that bad to work under?"

"Nah, it was more a… aww what's the word," Nightmare said. "What's that word I'm thinking of that describes a bad dream?"

Everyone looked at him in shock.

"Ah, sure it's not important," the Gengar said thoughtfully. "Anyway, Duskla, it wasn't that you died, it wasn't that I killed you, it wasn't that I hated you… There's a lot of things that it wasn't, but that wasn't the focus of the dream. The focus of the dream was more on the whole saving the world thing."

Leaf snorted. "World must be screwed if you had to save it. Where was Slak Borillo? The world's greatest hero."

"More like world's fattest ass," Apollo said. "Now listen up ya bastards, we paid for a great new year's party for ya all. Now it's time for ya all to repay the company. Do for Team Rescue Express what Team Rescue Express did for ya all. Last year's mission success rate was the lowest it's been since we formed."

"Wow, you really must have sucked before I got here to improve you all," Nightmare said.

"Profits were at an all-time low, we've had complaints about the service, many clients have refused to use us again after their packets arrived at their destination in a substandard condition…"

"You burn a couple once," Nightmare muttered. "Wasn't even my fault, that Typhlosion flipped me off and it was all I could throw at him."

"And it wasn't our fault that we were robbed that time," Duskla pointed out. "We'd only left the cargo alone with Nightmare for an hour and when we came back, it'd been stolen by several very large dark skinned Dusknoir's wearing gang colours. I mean, Nightmare was heartbroken by that. He was passed out on the floor when we got there and…"

Nightmare had gone all misty eyed. "Ah, what a night that was."

He saw Apollo stare at him suspiciously.

"I mean, aww what a horrible night that was."

"So anyway I'm going to put it all to ya bastards in terms ya can get ya heads around," Apollo said. "If ya don't buck up, ya fired and we'll hire cheap immigrants to replace ya."

"Son of a bitch!" Nightmare exclaimed. "It was a nightmare. That's what a bad dream's called. What are the odds?"

"Now, if ya all can excuse me," Apollo said, going over to the coffee maker. "I got paperwork to do so ya bastards can either lay around or get some work done. Depends if ya want ya cut from the delivery."

He poured a coffee and took a long look around at the group. "Ya all are the main force of Rescue Express. Our success depends on ya all. So listen when I tell ya all that if ya bastards screw up once more, I will chuck ya out on ya bastard heads."

The Ludicolo took a swig of coffee from his mug before violently spitting it out.

"Son of a bastard!" he exclaimed. "This is awful! Almost tastes like… Right, nobody leaves the building!"

* * *

"So someone pissed in the coffee pot," Nightmare said. "That's just fantastic."  
"Wouldn't be saying that if you drank it," Belia remarked. "Would you?"

The Gengar snorted. "Yeah, like I drink coffee. That stuff messes you up."

Finishing speaking, he opened a bottle of Black Persian beer and started to chug the contents.

Next, Apollo and Professor Alaworth came into the room, Apollo still looking ill after the vomiting that he'd gone through earlier.

"Right, so listen," Apollo said. "I demand to be able to fire an employee every hour. Then while they're no longer protected by employee rights, I want to be able to execute the bastards, stick their heads up on a pike and burn their bodies. Then I want to repeat the action fifty eight minutes later with another employee."

"Pish," Alaworth said. "It's not happening. We've got delivery's waiting to be made. If you want to take that course of action, I permit you to lock them in a room and interrogate them but not the crew until they get back."

"Fine," the Ludicolo grumbled. "Let's see…" He looked across the room. "Only Tandy, Duskla, Leaf and Nightmare need to be on that." He began to rub his hands together. "The rest of you are mine."

* * *

Interrogation Room One.

Apollo stood looking at Belia. "So, why did you do it?"

"Do what?" the Buizel asked innocently.

"Don't act innocent with me, ya bastard," he said, staring her out. "I know your game. Who you working for really? Because you don't do any work around here? And you think it's coincidence that it's all gone downhill since you arrived?"

"Actually it was already going downhill."

"Quiet woman bastard!" he bellowed. "That's not true. Alaworth was less insane then, I was less angry and…"

"I didn't do it, damnit, get that through your thick skull!" Belia exclaimed. "There's several other workers here, why are you so convinced it was me?"

"Because you're the only one I can't fire," Apollo said coldly. "Alaworth told me that I can everyone else, but not you. He likes you around, you have the same blood type as him."

"Hey, I'm a victim of genetics. Not a vandal!"

He leaned down on the table and studied her for several moments.

Interrogation Room Two.

"Now," Apollo said, looking down at Mystic, the Espeon staring wide eyed at the spotlight he had shone down on her. "You don't work here. So why were you at the office party?"

"I was invited, dude," she said, swooning at the light. "Woah, this light's like so super bright! How you get it so bright man? It's like staring into the morning sun."

Apollo reached out and slapped her. "Back on the subject, ya bastard. Why'd you do it?"

"Do what?"  
He slapped her again, this time she yelped. "Hey!"

"You don't work here, you have no employees' rights, and I can hit you. It's in the law."

Interrogation Room Three.

"OH ARCEUS, I DIDN'T DO IT, HAVE MERCY ON POOR OLD DOCTOR KRABBLEBURG, PLEASE DON'T FIRE ME, THIS JOB IS ALL I HAVE AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE IT!" Dr Krabbleberg wailed the second he walked into the interrogation room. "I DON'T EVEN LIKE COFFEE, WHY WOULD I WANT TO EXPEL MY JUICES INTO THE POT? IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR ME TO HAVE TO HAVE DONE IT!"

"Actually, it makes perfect sense," Apollo said, leaning over him. "And quit your wailing, ya whining little bastard. Have you ever heard of the perfect crime? It's when you can do something and it has absolutely no disastrous consequences on you. You don't drink coffee, there's no chance of you being spiked."

"MERCY!" Krabbleberg wailed, bursting into tears once more. "Please, have mercy on poor little me, you should. I'm innocent, completely I am."

"Get da fuck out of here," a disgusted looking Apollo said.

* * *

"Man, I can't believe what just happened on that mission," Nightmare said, as Tandy touched down in the departure area. "That was just… Has that ever actually happened before?"

"Not to my knowledge," Leaf said. "You're right, it's too strange."  
"Hey, it used to happen a lot before you came here," Duskla said. "Since you did, not so much."

The second Tandy hit the ground, Apollo burst in. "Right!" he exclaimed. "I'm not convinced anyone else did it, so it's time to wheel in my three prime suspects. You!"  
"Ah, count me out," Nightmare said. "I'm proved innocent by my biology. I couldn't do it."

"He's right," Duskla chirped. "We're both innocent, it couldn't have been us. It must have been someone else. Freedom, we're not getting fired! Woo!"  
She and Nightmare began to dance around Tandy, both relieved.

"Hmm, okay," Apollo said, not amused. "Leaf, ya fired. Clean out ya locker and get the hell out of here, ya bastard."

"Woah!" Nightmare exclaimed. "You can't fire him."

It was Leaf's turn to burst into tears.

"Actually, according to Clause Fourteen, Section Eight, Sub-section B, Line Five, Word Ten of the Rescue Express regulations, I can," Apollo said smugly. "So there."

Duskla picked up a copy of said regulations and flicked through it. "There's not actually a word here," she said. "Just more a picture of you making a rude hand gesture."

"There ya go, there's ya answer."

* * *

"I can't believe he fired me," a downcast Leaf said, stood by the door, his things balanced in a box on his back. "I mean, I'm sure I didn't do it."

"I don't care whether ya did or not," Apollo said. "Unless ya can give me an alternate name, then…"

Alaworth burst into the room. "Good news everyone!" he exclaimed. "I've been reviewing the security footage and I've deduced who has perpetrated this horrible crime. Although admittedly the only one to get damaged by it was Apollo. Watch this video tape."

He walked over to a video recorder and inserted the tape, watching the contents flash up on the screen.

"This will answer all our questions about what happened," he said confidently. "Yes, this will explain all."

In black and white, they saw Nightmare and Duskla making out on the couch while the party went on around them. The two ghosts looked at each other and shrugged. "Must have been drunk," Nightmare muttered.

"That's like saying the ocean must have been wet," Leaf said, shuddering as he watched himself vomiting into a plant. "That food must have been off."

"You were the one who was shouting that we should drink until we bleed," Duskla pointed out, watching the crew form a giant conga line out of the room with the coffee pot. Eventually only Professor Alaworth remained. He glanced around the room, checking it was empty, before walking over to the coffee pot…

"EWWW!" Belia exclaimed. "That's nasty."

Nightmare glanced around to smirk at Apollo. "So, how are you going to fire the boss exactly?"

"Quiet ya bastard," he said grumpily. "Leaf, ya rehired."

"Oh that reminds me!" Duskla suddenly exclaimed, waving a wad of Pokedollars in the air. "You know that last mission we went on? We got paid. How about that?"

Alaworth quickly relieved her of it. "Ah, I knew my crew could do it under my leadership. Truly it is a proud day when Team Rescue Express makes their name in the world once more."

"Who cares?" Nightmare exclaimed. "We got paid! To O'Riolu's!"

* * *

In O'Riolu's Bar.

A few hours down the line, Leaf had gone to bed, while Belia and Mystic had departed, leaving only Nightmare and Duskla sat alone in a booth at the corner of the bar.

"Not a bad day then," Nightmare said. "Not a bad day at all."

Duskla looked at him, before reaching out her hand to rest on his. "What's bothering you?" she asked. "You've not been the same for a while."

"Just that nightmare I had," Nightmare said. "Was a really bad dream. I dreamed that you took me to the League of Ghosts, this haven for those like us. While we were there, a Spiritomb tried to coerce me into delivering my past self to the past, I dreamed I was home. And you died; you were killed by Tyranitars from Omnicron City."

She quickly withdrew her hand. "That's quite a dream. Why would you dream that I died?"

"I didn't want you to," Nightmare protested. "I don't know where the other bit came from either, the bit where you told me you loved me."

She raised her brow at him. "It's in your head, Nightmare. Do you?"

"Do I what?" He swallowed the last of another Black Persian. "Want you to love me? I want to be loved by all, not just you. I'm Nightmare damnit. Hate me at your peril."

"You're avoiding the question."

"I know I am," Nightmare said. "You're not chasing me down over it. Really strange dream, it's just been bothering me a lot."

"If you ever want to talk about it, I'm here," Duskla said. Had Nightmare been looking at her, he might have noticed her blush. "It was just a dream, Nightmare. Just a dream."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**It's back…**

**Hope you enjoyed.**


	17. A Gengar's Place

Chapter Seventen. A Gengar's Place.

* * *

Sat astride a rooftop, Nightmare put down his bottle of beer and looked out across the horizon, sighing sadly.

"So it's come to this," he said to nobody in particular. "I'm now all alone in the world. No friends. No job. No place to live. Even the people who should care about me hate me. And I hate them. The jerks. They don't appreciate me. Their loss. Maybe I'll sneak back to the office and set fire to it after dark. Or maybe the day, when they're inside it. That'll really show them. Because they'll be on fire and burning while I'll be outside not on fire. Yeah, that'd teach them."

"But what to do now? Maybe I'll launch a singing career. Become a millionaire, buy out their crappy business and sack them all. Then I'll burn it to the ground. Yes, that'll show them. That'll show them how wrong they were to slight me, to turn me away."

Standing up, he looked to the sky and started to scream. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

* * *

Two Days Earlier…

"Run!" Duskla shouted, fleeing through the cave, Leaf and Nightmare following close by. "This was a bad idea."

"Tell that to Alaworth!" Leaf screamed, roars echoing out from behind them. "Why do we even work for that guy?"

"Who cares!" Nightmare yelled at the Shaymin. "You're going to die!"

"How do you work that out?" Leaf asked, suddenly deciding to run ever faster. "You're here as well."

"Yeah but I'm already dead," Nightmare said. "What's it going to do, kill me twice?"

"Why the hell are you running then?!" Leaf exclaimed. "Get back there and kick its ass."

Nightmare stopped. "Hmmmm."

"Alright," he said, turning around to face the thing behind them. "Come on you. Let's put them up."

He was unaware that both Leaf and Duskla had fled.

"Hey Duskla," Leaf said as they ran towards Tandy. "You're a ghost too, right."  
"Yeah?"

"So why are you worried about dying?"

"Did you see that bloody monster? If Nightmare wants to get himself killed or die trying, then that's entirely up to him."

* * *

About three minutes later, with both Duskla and Leaf aboard Tandy and taking off, Nightmare was thrown out of the cave, badly beaten up.

"I'm never doing that again," he muttered. "I really showed him how to beat the crap out of me. Hey!" he called up to the departing Tropius. "Where the hell you going? Get back here for me."

"Sorry," Tandy called back. "You missed your flight."

"I'll kill you all!" Nightmare screamed. "And then I'll wound everyone else."

* * *

"And so," Professor Alaworth said, as Nightmare eventually trudged back into the Rescue Express building, having walked back from being stranded, his feet swollen up and his throat dry. "It is my honour to introduce our newest member of Rescue Express. I've always dreamed of having an Espeon on staff to discuss psychic type things with, and now that Espeon has arrived. Plus we have the same blood type and you never know when you might need some psychic type bone marrow. So without further ado, here's Mystic."

Mystic walked to stand next to him. "How did I get roped into taking this job again?" she asked. "I'm sure I only asked if I could use the company car park."

The entire watching crew burst out laughing. Much to the bemusement of Myst. "I wasn't making a joke. I really don't want this job. I've seen you people working here for this rescue team already. I'm really worried I might die if I take this job."  
"Quiet you," Alaworth said, walking over to the lockers before breaking one open. "Here is your new locker… It appears that someone has already filled it with their stuff. Never mind, finders keepers, right?"

"Hey, old jerk!" Nightmare exclaimed, wishing he'd thought to use a stronger curse. "That's my locker. I've been using it since I got here."

"Who are you again?" Alaworth asked, looking over at Apollo and shrugging. "Never seen you before in my life."

"Cool," Nightmare said. "Do you mind if I kill some of your staff?"

"Which staff?" Apollo asked. "If it's Dr Krabbleberg and Belia, go nuts."

"Hey!" both of them protested.

"No no no," Nightmare said. "I'm talking about Duskla, the ice cold bitch who left me to die in the forest. Being smoking hot doesn't give you the right to do that, woman! I'm talking about Leaf, my supposed best friend in the entire world who also left me to die. And I'm also talking about Tandy… Personally, behind the Typhlosion, the Tropius is the sole thing in existence I want to make extinct. And it's all because of him."

Leaf blinked. "You didn't die though. And, in our defence, we didn't leave you for dead. We thought you were dead."

"I was shouting after you!" Nightmare yelled, picking Leaf up and shaking him. "What do you want me to do, fire a Flamethrower in the air and start singing Mon Jovi's greatest hits? Because I can rock the crap out of You Give Luvdisc A Bad Name."

"Hmm, I don't care for that band," Apollo said, looking at a sheet of paper. "Sorry, Nightmare. Can't authorise you killing those three. Maybe later. Like I said. You want to kill the doc, go ahead. Just dispose of the body in the correct manner."

"I love Mon Jovi," Mystic said. "You know I once had sex with their lead singer?"

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "I so didn't, but the looks on your faces was priceless."

"Jake Mon Jovi is a Garchomp," Duskla said. "The logistics are astounding."

"Yes yes but he can sing!" Dr Krabbleberg said. "All the hits. I model my singing career on him."

"Does someone want to let him down gently, or shall I just stamp on him?" Nightmare asked.

"Doc," Belia said kindly. "You don't have a singing career. You're a disgusting Krabby who somehow managed to become a doctor despite having no medical aptitude, no qualifications, no knowledge of medicine, no sense of basic hygiene and the bedside manner of a Granbull that's been forced to sit through rectal surgery."

The doctor ran out of the room, in tears.

"Okay, you win," Nightmare said. "That was so much better than stamping on him. Anyway, back to my problems…"

"So we left you for dead and Myst took your locker," Duskla said. "It's not like you've been kicked out of your apartment."

"Oh yeah," Leaf said. "By the way…"

* * *

"Son of a bitch!" Nightmare exclaimed, sat on the pavement outside O'Riolu's, his possessions behind him and the eviction notice in hand. From the room above the pub, Leaf opened the window and peered down at him.

"Don't worry, Nightmare," he said. "I'm sure they'll reconsider in a few weeks."

* * *

"I'm sorry," Apollo said, walking into the briefing room at Rescue Express to find Nightmare's stuff cluttering it up. And by stuff, it was a refrigerator full of beer, a couple of obscene posters of ghost type Pokémon, his baseball bat, whip, water pistol and a safe with the words 'Nightmare's Stolen Stuff' engraved across the front. "But… Who am I kidding, I'm not sorry. I'm never sorry. Ya can't keep ya stuff here, ya bastard. It's a place of work, not a damn lockup."

"But I have no damn lockup," Nightmare protested. "Or any other place to keep it for that matter. Come on, Apollo, can't you bend the rules for me?"  
"Sorry, mon," the Ludicolo said. "It's company policy. No employer may keep their crap on site if they've been evicted for being a noisy little bastard. Or a drunk little bastard. Or an annoying little turd."

"Wait a second, first of all, I'm not that little. Second of all, all that stuff describes Leaf far more than

"Well if that's your policy," Nightmare said angrily. "Then maybe I shouldn't work here anymore."

"If that's how ya feel, then maybe ya shouldn't," Apollo replied. "Don't let the door crack ya on the ass on the way out."

* * *

The next day went by in sort of a massive drunken daze, nobody knows completely what happened, but what we do know is that Nightmare ended up on a roof, ready to drink himself into a coma. In a probably completely unrelated incident, someone crashed a train causing countless amounts worth of damage and killing dozens.

Sat astride a rooftop, Nightmare put down his bottle of beer and looked out across the horizon, sighing sadly.

"So it's come to this," he said to nobody in particular. "I'm now all alone in the world. No friends. No job. No place to live. Even the people who should care about me hate me. And I hate them. The jerks. They don't appreciate me. Their loss. Maybe I'll sneak back to the office and set fire to it after dark. Or maybe the day, when they're inside it. That'll really show them. Because they'll be on fire and burning while I'll be outside not on fire. Yeah, that'd teach them."

"But what to do now? Maybe I'll launch a singing career. Become a millionaire, buy out their crappy business and sack them all. Then I'll burn it to the ground. Yes, that'll show them. That'll show them how wrong they were to slight me, to turn me away."

Standing up, he looked to the sky and started to scream. "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

"Have your revenge quieter!" Someone screamed up from an apartment below. "I'm trying to watch these two Growlithes getting it on."

* * *

"You know who I miss?" Duskla asked as she, Leaf, Belia, Mystic and Tandy sat around the conference table in the Rescue Express briefing room.

"Jake Mon Jovi?" Belia wondered.

"Nah, close," the Dusclops said. "But I was actually thinking about Nightmare."

"Yeah, I miss him too," Leaf said. "Maybe I should have kicked up more of a fuss about them evicting him for a few days. I mean, so what if he spends most of the night drinking, singing and making threats to public figures. He's still my friend damnit and…"

At that point Alaworth and Apollo ran in, both panting for breath and screaming at each other.

"Ya bastard, you've really done it this time!" Apollo yelled. "Man, they looked pissed off. They going to kill us for sure."

"What's going on?" Duskla wondered. "What's the Professor done now?"  
"Remember that delivery you were supposed to make this morning?" Apollo asked.

"What delivery?" Leaf wondered. "We've been out looking for Nightmare. I only hope he wasn't on that train that crashed."

Belia snorted. "I wouldn't be surprised to hear he was the one who caused it."

Everyone looked at her.

"Oh come on. You were all thinking it," the Buizel said.

"I wasn't," Mystic said. "I was thinking about Torchics."

"Anyone without brain damage was thinking it," Apollo muttered darkly. "Anyway, exactly what the little bastard said. What package. We had an order come in to deliver building supplies so they could fix up the train line."

"That seems unusually efficient," Duskla remarked. "I mean normally they just leave it six to eight months and then decide it looks fine the way it is."  
"Yeah, that new mayor really wants to make a stand," Tandy said. "Who'd have thought we'd end up with a fourth consecutive Lucario mayor named Anubis."

"I was amazed when we ended up with a second one, never mind a fourth," Alaworth said. "I think he's a clone. And there's a conspiracy of some whatnot."

"People! Bastards!" Apollo bellowed. "Back to the matter in our hands. Paws, if you want to be politically annoying! The professor never relayed the message, we never made the delivery and now the Conkeldurr are going to kill us!"

"That seems a bit extreme," Belia said.

"They're very very stressed," Apollo said. "And they're not the only ones. You know how much paperwork I'm going to have to fill in if you lot get horribly bludgeoned to death in this building? That's why I'm going to send you out into the streets to await them. If you're eager and willing, that should appease them."

"Is it too late to offer my resignation?" Leaf wondered.

"Refused to accept," Apollo said. "They especially don't like little green legendary bastards."

"I knew this job would kill me," Mystic moaned.

* * *

"Apollo! Let us back in!" Duskla shouted as the doors slammed shut behind them, the Ludicolo and the old Alakazam back behind them. "What if they kill us and then decide to come for you afterwards?"

"We'll take that chance," Apollo said. "We're going to escape on Tandy."

"Oh come on!" Belia yelled. "This isn't fair! I have employee rights!"  
"No you don't ya dumb bastard," the Ludicolo chuckled. "Now hurry up and die gracefully. Don't get blood on the front of the building." Below them the ground began to shake. "Uh, I think they're coming."

"Apollo, please!" Mystic said. "I don't want to die here like this. I wanted to die in a much more dignified way like being stabbed in the tail and bleeding to death?"

"Seriously, do you ever listen to what comes out of your mouth?" Leaf asked.

"Ah, I drift in and out," Myst said as Doctor Krabbleberg let out a squawk.

"The Conkeldurr, they come they do!" he yelped, five of the brutes stomping down the street towards them. "Help! Help! Save us Arceus! Save us Mew! Save us Ho-oh! Save us Big Kingler that we all worship in secret! Save us Heatran! I love you all!"

"Calm down," Duskla said. "I'm sure they can be reasoned with."

"Yeah, go on then," Belia said. "You try to reason with them. I'm going to go hide behind that wall."

As the Conkeldurr approached, they looked even bigger up close, towering over everyone present.

"Hi," Duskla said quietly. "Ah, so you're probably the fine gentlemen who…"

One of them lifted her up by the twist atop her head and glared at her. "Quiet you! Where. Are. Our. Materials?"

"Good question," Duskla said. "Uh, Leaf?"

"Yes?" the Shaymin asked.

"Answer him," the Dusclops hissed angrily.

"Oh right," Leaf said. "Your materials… Belia?"  
"Don't make me ask you again," the lead Conkeldurr said. "Where are our materials? We had a contract and you better damn well honour it. Or we'll void it with your blood."

That was when they heard a laugh from behind them.

"This guy knows some big words, doesn't he?"

Turning around, everyone saw Nightmare wandering down the street, a can of fuel in one hand and a lighter in the other.

"Hey it's him!" Leaf exclaimed. "That loveable Gengar. And my best friend! He came back!"  
"Quiet you!" Nightmare said. "Unhand that Dusclops."

"Or what?" the lead Conkeldurr asked. "You're outnumbered. Five against one."

"Actually it's three against one," Nightmare said. "The last two guys always run away. I beat you down, two of them try to take me down just for shows sake and the last two run. And they're the ones who live. How about that?"  
"What?" the lead Conkeldurr demanded, as some of those behind him started to mutter in worry.

"He sounds confident. Maybe we should just cut our losses and run."

"He could kill us. Plus he's a Gengar as well."  
"Yes well, we're mighty Conkeldurr," the lead one said, putting down Duskla to poke Nightmare in the chest. "And no pissy little Gengar is going to threaten me."

"It's only a threat if you say something you don't mean to do," Nightmare said. "What I said was a promise."

The lead Conkeldurr laughed derisively. "And you're going to take me down how?"

"Well, I did come here to do some building remodelling," Nightmare said. "Could do this instead."

In one swift motion, he hurled the fuel into the Conkeldurr leader's face and jumped up to Shadow Kick him, thumbing the flame into existence on the lighter as he did.

"Want to play catch?" he grinned, tossing the lit lighter from hand to hand. "Because… Ah shit, that burns!" He howled as he caught it badly, the flame searing into his skin, and dropped it on the Conkeldurr leader, stepping backwards as he burst into flames. "Oh wait, you knew that."

He glanced around nervously at the rest of the Conkeldurr. "So who else wants to get horribly burned?"

There weren't any volunteers.

"What's all of this about anyway?"

* * *

"I must say," Alaworth said as he handed Nightmare the plaque. "In recognition of extraordinary bravery, fast hands and a cool head under pressure, it's my honour to award you with this award. Employee of the week. Not only did you prevent the death of the crew and a potentially ugly situation, you did it with as little regard for Pokémon life as possible. That's always commendable. I like a man who can take a situation and find a completely over the top way to remedy it. Plus you managed to get an extension on our delivery time. The Conkeldurr even agreed to pay us. Nobody deserves this award more than you. And in addition, there's a new role as head of security at Rescue Express if you desire it."

"I'll pass on that," Nightmare said. "I'm happy with things the way they are. And abusing the power of that role would get boring after a while.

"Abusing power never gets boring," Apollo muttered as Nightmare wandered down into congratulations from his fellow workers, including hugs, backslapping and various cries of 'you da Gengar'. "Never at all."

* * *

**Author's Notes.**

**So another chapter. Hope you liked.**


End file.
